Roomies ✔

36 - Lonely

Her fingers glided across Dobby's fur; the smallest bulldog puppy which had strange ears. She felt lonely. Actually, she wished that Juice would come back to their apartment. Esai was the main reason he had left and she hadn't heard from him in days. There was no doubt he was busy, but she felt abandoned nonetheless. The shooting had been super scary and at night, she woke up many times with a pounding heart, convinced that she heard gunshots and the whole apartment was creaking as if there were intruders everywhere. Sometimes she was silently crying, wishing Juice was around so she could snuggle up to him. Because he was her best friend.

If you want him to come back, you should tell him. 

Jamie knew it was true. Juice was the one who'd wanted to give her space after trying to come between Esai and her. She had been mad — so she should be the one forgiving him. She was ready to do that now; she just wanted things to be like they used to. 

Jamie lifted Dobby, pressing him against her chest as she got up. She looked around. Juice sat on the other side of the clubhouse where he was working on his laptop. A nervous knot was formed in her stomach as she headed to him. What if he didn't want to come back at all? Maybe he believed that she had made her choice by staying with Esai. But she didn't want to choose between both guys. Esai was her boyfriend and Juice was her best friend. She didn't want to give up either of them; he would understand, right? 

Juice looked up, a somewhat sad smile crossing his lips. "Hey Jamie."

"Hey," she said softly. She pressed Dobby even closer to her chest. "When will you come home?"

He took his hand off the wireless mouse and turned towards her. "Are you sure you want that?"

Jamie nodded. "I feel lonely."

"Oh." Juice ran a hand across his mohawk. "Well — If you want me to come back, I will."

"Okay."

An awkward silence fell. Something Jamie almost never noticed, but this time she did. Their eyes met briefly. Juice's thumb slipped across the silver skull adorning his other thumb and he cleared his throat.

"So eh... Did you hear from Esai?" He avoided her glance, looking nervous. 

"No," she muttered, wondering if that was the answer he was hoping for. 

"I can take you to Oakland. Would you like that? So that you can see him and tell him that you're, well, not happy with how things are right now?"

The offer surprised her. She'd expected him to say something unfriendly about Esai, but instead, he offered his help. Would she do that? Just walk into the clubhouse? She doubted Esai would be happy about it. On the other hand... They hadn't seen each other in such a long time... they couldn't go on like this, right? She understood he was busy and perhaps he was worried about her safety after the shooting, but she didn't want it to keep them from seeing each other. She loved him. Sometimes, love required risks. This distance wasn't making her happy either. 

"That might be a good idea." She gave Juice a hesitant smile. "That's very sweet of you, thanks."

Juice looked away. 

Feeling uncomfortable, Jamie bit her lip. Shouldn't she have said that? Since she knew that Juice had feelings for her, she didn't know how to behave around him.

"I will take you there after dinner, okay?" 

Jamie nodded, pressing a kiss to Dobby's head. "Okay!"

. . .

Nervously, Jamie intertwined her fingers as she stood in front of the Mayan's clubhouse. She glanced over her shoulder one more time and looked at Juice. To avoid attention, he wore a black hoodie instead of his kutte, but he still seemed to feel uncomfortable. 

"I'll wait here," he said nonetheless. "Just send me a text when you don't need me anymore."

Jamie nodded gratefully and took a deep breath. Here we go. 

She headed to the door and swung it open. The clubhouse was crowded and the music was blasting; apparently, there was a party going on. The thought that Esai was partying while she was alone at home missing him, caused a pang in her chest. Looking for her boyfriend, she wormed her way through the crowd. She had been here so few times it was hard to recognize faces. 

Just when she reached the bar, someone swung an arm around her shoulders. 

"Pajarita! Long time no see!" Kevin looked at her with a wide grin. "Are you looking for your old man?"

Jamie wanted to shake his arm off her shoulders, but his grasp was firm. The last time she'd spoken to him, he told her Esai was cheating on her and she had ended up crying in the rain while her boyfriend hadn't even been in the building. 

"He's in his room, with a hot brunette I think."

With an angry frown, Jamie pushed the man away. She wasn't falling for that a second time. Quickly she walked further, but Esai was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was indeed in his room. Not with the brunette Danny talked about — she trusted her boyfriend — but because he wasn't in the mood to party. Because he missed her too. 

With a determined smile, she headed to his clubroom, where she'd spent the night after he found her in the rain. The memory of how sweet he had been, filled her heart with warmth. 

"Esai?" She knocked on the door. 

She heard a voice, from which she concluded she was allowed to enter. Eager to see her boyfriend again, she swung open the door.

She froze on the threshold.

Esai was there indeed. The Mayan symbol on his bare back grinned wickedly at her. He was lying on top of a naked girl who had indeed brown hair, his hand still resting on her breast while he looked over his shoulder. 

"Jamie?"

"W-what are you doing?" Jamie stammered. "W-why..."

More words refused to leave her lips. Her heart shattered into thousand pieces. Petrified, she stared at the two naked bodies that were tangled up intimately. 

More intimate than Esai and she had ever been. 

She stared into his guilt-ridden blue eyes. Sobbing, she tore her glance away, turned around, and ran away. She barely noticed the other people she was bumping in to; only when she threw herself in Juice's arms, crying, it felt like the world was slowly starting to move again.

. . .

Sorry for the long break, next update will be sooner!

If you enjoyed this chapter and you want to support me as a writer, it would mean the world to me if you'd leave a comment, vote and follow my profile ♥