Roomies ✔

37 - Never Too Late

The moment the door closed, Esai pushed the girl away. "Fuck off."

"But..."

"Go!"

Lydia must see the anger in his eyes, for she looked back in shock and grabbed her clothes.

Yes—he'd used her.

And he didn't feel guilty at all. Lydia knew that all too well, just like all the other bitches hanging around here. They were nothing but entertainment, and they didn't care.

There however was nothing entertaining about this. He had used her to break Jamie's heart and from now on, he would associate Lydia with this painful moment. He would make sure she would never set foot in this room again. Hell—if it was up to him, she would never go near the clubhouse at all.

But it wasn't his decision.

Lydia cast him an aggrieved look and left the room in a hurry. Esai headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He let the water whip his face so it felt like he couldn't get oxygen.

That's how Jamie must have felt, the moment she opened his bedroom door.

Running a hand across his head, he squeezed his eyes shut.

It was over.

He had ended it, in the most horrible way he could think of. But he had no choice. He thought about pretending to cheat, but he was afraid he would regret it and go back to her. Now she could never forgive him. Now she was safe. Now she stayed safe.

Yet, the fact that she was safe didn't make him feel any better. Swallowing a sigh, he stepped out of the shower and dried himself off. He was rather surrounded by the crowds in the clubhouse than that he stayed here on his own.

Clothing himself in jeans and a grey shirt, he put on his kutte and went to the clubhouse where he got himself a drink immediately.

Something strong.

While drinking it, he looked around. Everyone was having fun; chatting or pooling or enjoying some female company. Nobody cared about people outside the clubhouse who wanted to destroy everyone he loved.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as his father sat down next to him.

"Did I just saw that girl or yours?"

"Yeah," Esai muttered, taking a sip of his whiskey. It didn't burn away the guilt. "It's over."

His dad raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

Esai looked into his glass. "It's too dangerous. Mia threatened to hurt her."

The man scoffed. "A real Old Lady will always be at your side. See? Told you she did not have it in her."

"She doesn't know. I knew it wouldn't scare her off. I made sure she'd leave."

His father shook his head, snorting. "Then you did not really love her. Not that I'm surprised. I am glad this charade is over now and you can look for a real Old Lady. Someone who will be at your side, no matter what happens."

Esai gritted his teeth. This felt so unfair! Of course, he understood that his mother stayed with his father—they were married for ages. His mother vowed to stay with him, for better or worse. Jamie and he weren't there, not by far; they were only a couple of weeks together and he couldn't stand the thought that she might end up dead because he believed she needed to face whatever came her way, only because it was expected from an Old Lady.

Maybe his father had been right all along.

Someone who was as sweet, innocent and friendly as Jamie didn't belong in the brutal MC world, where houses with little children were under attack and family members of victims were threatened in the hospital.

He loved her—enough to wish her more than he could ever give her. If his father didn't understand, it was his problem.

He downed the remainder of his whiskey, wishing his father would wrap an arm around his shoulders instead of smiling smugly because he finally had his way.

Esai didn't feel like staying here any longer and left the clubhouse. He wanted to go home—to his mom.

On the couch, he leaned his head against her shoulder, sighing. He didn't reach out for her affection often, but right now he needed it. He had the feeling he'd made a good decision for the first time in his life—even though he felt anything but proud about the way it worked out—and he'd expected to feel less like shit.

With a fragile smile, his mom looked him in the eye. She might be back from the hospital, but she wasn't the lively woman she used to be.

Perhaps she was the reason why his father's lack of sensitivity hurt so much. His wife had almost died because of trouble caused by the club, by Esai. If he expected someone to understand him, it was his dad.

"Did you ever regret marrying dad?" Esai muttered. "I mean—I know that you love him, but because of the whole club thing? You could have died. Tessa could have died."

He thought of his little sister. What if she had been hit? Because of retaliation on his behalf?

His mom patted his hand. "But that didn't happen."

"It can still happen. They want revenge. I killed two people Mia loved. My only way out is killing her too—and make myself even a bigger target for a fucking cartel. She will always want revenge."

His mother gave him a sad smile. "Does this mean that you will break with your sister and me too?"

"No." Esai bent his head, running a hand across his face. "But that's different. And..."

"We people are fragile beings. Jamie could be hit by a car tomorrow, or she could be robbed and die defending herself, or she could even fall from the stairs. Don't you think you will regret pushing her away for the rest of your life? Life is so short—you have to make the most of it. Share your concerns—she's not stupid, she will understand the situation—and come up with a solution together. Together, Esai."

Esai bit his lip. "It's too late now."

"It's never too late." His mother nudged his shoulder. "We women are more resilient and wiser than you give us credit for. Let her decide if it's too late, instead of deciding it for her."

. . .

Question... This story was meant to be a Juice/OC fanfic, but it feels like the characters do their own thing, despite of what I want them to do. :')

Is everyone still team Juice or do we also have some Esai supporters? ;)