|In The Dark|

18

Talk

ANNABELLE LUPIN-BLACK

My dad jogged to catch up with me. "We need to talk. Please." he said. I just followed him into his classroom. He shut the door and I sat down. "Anna, I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you need, what is going on inside your head? I can't help you if you don't." he said. "I'm fine." I lied. "You're not. You were raped-" he started. "Don't-" I said, cutting him off. "What?" he asked. "Don't say that word." I said. He sighed. "Fine. But you didn't speak a word to anyone for 5 days. You won't eat, you rarely sleep. You just watched someone get beat within an inch of their life and there is absolutely no emotion on your face." he said. "What do you want me to say dad?" I asked. He didn't say anything. "You want me to tell everyone how I feel. I don't know ok? I don't fucking know how I feel. I didn't speak but I didn't have anything to say. I don't eat because I'm not hungry. I don't sleep because if I close my eyes I'm back inside that room with him on top of me. So I don't know what everyone wants from me! I'm sorry I'm not your perfect fucking victim. Next time I get raped, I'll try and make it more convenient for you!" I screamed. My father just stared at me with his eyes filled with tears. "I can't be here right now. I need to go for a few days." I said. "Where are you going?" he asked. "I don't know. I just can't handle this." I said. I walked out and slammed the door. I probably could have handled that better. But honestly I don't give a fuck. I went straight to my dorm and it was almost curfew. Ginny and Hermione were sitting on their beds and I grabbed my backpack and stuffed some clothes in it. "What are you doing?" Ginny asked. "Leaving." I said. "What? You can't leave?! What about school and the tournament? You can't just blow it off-" Ginny started. "I am." I said. I started to leave. "Please be careful Anna." Hermione said. I nodded and shut the door. I heard them start arguing. I should have known Hermione would let me go. And I should've known Ginny would be upset.

I started to leave when I heard the voice of the one person I'd hoped to avoid. "What the hell are you doing?" Harry said. I turned around and he stood at the bottom of the steps. "I know you are talking again so you better explain or you aren't taking another step." he said. I sighed. "Harry, it's 2 weeks until the second task. I'll be back before then." I said. "Where the fuck do you think your going?" he asked. "Anywhere but here." I said. He shook his head. "No." he said. 'It's not up to you." I said. "Yes, I can-" he started. "No, it's not. I said I'm going. Don't make me argue this with you." I said. "I won't just let you-" he started. "Then come with me." I said. I loved Harry. He always made me feel better. It would be better being with him than being alone. "What? I can't leave?" he said. "Just for a few days. Come with me. You don't need to worry because you will be with me. I need you." I said. He shook his head. "I can't just leave and you shouldn't either" he said. I sighed. Fine. I turned to go. "You can't go Anna." he said. "Harry!" Hermione called out. "You need to let her go." Hermione said. Harry looked at me. "Your wrong, I can't stay." I said.

Then I walked out. I was walking out the courtyard with a cigarette in my mouth when I saw the familiar glow of a lit end of another cigarette in the distance. I walked over and Theo was sitting in the snow. He was smoking and he had his bloody swollen hands in the snow. I just kept walking. "Where are you going?" he asked, chasing after me. "Where are you going?" he asked. "People ask that question a lot. Why do you care?" I asked. "The same reason I always have." he said. I stopped in my tracks. The snow was falling and I looked at him. "What?" I said.

"You are too damn stubborn to see it so I'll spell it out for you. Your favorite color is red because you're a Gryffindor. Your favorite food is tomato soup. Your favorite class is DADA and your dad is your favorite teacher. You want to be an Auror like your other dad. Your favorite book is Alice In Wonderland. I read it once after I saw you read it a hundred times. Your favorite tea is chamomile. You care about your friends more than anything and you are the best at keeping secrets." he said. I stared at him in awe. "How do you-" I started. "It's amazing what you can learn when you pay attention." he said. I smiled. "What are you saying?" I asked. "I'm saying although you're incredibly difficult, I love you Belle. I know I probably shouldn't and I don't deserve you but I love you. You aren't damaged goods. I never thought that for a second." he said. Tears fell down my cheeks and I kissed him. Our lips were a perfect match. I ran my fingers through his hair and he held me close. "You got one wrong." I whispered. "What?" he asked. "My favorite color is blue. The color of your eyes. It changed when I met you." I said. He smiled and kissed me again. We pulled apart completely breathless. I hadn't thought about that night the entire time he was with me. "Come on, let's go inside. It's freezing." he said. I stopped. "Theo, I'm still leaving." I said. He turned around. "Why? You just-" he started. "Theo, I love you too. But you can't kiss away what happened. I need to escape." I said. I started to walk away. Then he walked up next to me. "Theo, enough. I said I need-" I started. "Where are we going?" he asked. I smiled at him. "You want to come with me?" I asked. "Why not?" he said.

We walked for a while until we ended up in Hogsmeade. "Belle, anywhere in mind?" he asked. "I want to drink." I said. "I don't think that's a great idea for you right now." he said. I shrugged. "Well I think it's a great idea." I said. We walked into the Three Broomsticks and sat down. "Firewhiskey, keep em coming." I said. "Aren't you two a bit young-" the man started. "It's alright Norman, I've got this table." a girl said. She smiled. "Theodore." she said smugly. "Calissa." he said. "Firewhiskey?" she asked. "Lots of it." he said. She nodded and walked off. I stared at the bruises on my wrists again. Theo just started talking. "You know Calissa was an old flame of mine. Yeah that's' right. Believe it if you dare. Slept with her once. This past summer. Then she started swinging for the other team." he said. I looked up at him and he continued. "Don't worry, reckon I've improved since then. Can't go around turning all of them gay. That would just be plain unfair. " he said. I caught on to what he was doing. He was trying to distract me. Frankly, it was kinda working. We both downed our first shot and the glass automatically refilled. "Keep talking." I said. He smiled. He talked all night. I just got drunker and drunker. I didn't even notice that his glass stayed untouched the rest of the evening. By midnight, I was slurring my words and could barely keep my eyes open. "Come on Belle, let's get you to bed." he said. "No, have more with me Theooo" I said. He smiled and swung my arm over his shoulder. He dragged me upstairs to a room and laid me on the bed. "I made friends with Pansy Parkinson." I said hiccuping with every word. He pulled my shoes off. 'Did you now?" he asked. "She's so pretty and nice. You were right about me being wrong." I slurred. He chuckled to himself. "You are going to have the worst headache tomorrow." he said. He pulled the covers over my body and sat down in the chair next to me. "Theo?" I asked. "Yes Belle?" he said. I choked back tears.

"I'm not a virgin anymore." I said. Tears slipped down my cheeks. He sighed sadly. "I know Belle." he said softly. "I wish he killed me instead. I wish he killed me so I didn't have to relieve it every time I take a breath or close my eyes." I said. "Don't say that Belle." he said. "Ok... I'll lie." I said.
Then I drifted off to sleep.

THEODORE NOTT

"Ok...I'll lie." she said. Then her eyes closed and she fell asleep. I just sat there and watched her. It killed me to see what he had done to her. The bruises, trauma, the burns she even gave herself. But it's not just physically. He broke her. She used to smile at everything. She saw the good in life. She wasn't bitter at the world. Even though she had reasons to be. Now she was.

She was smoking, drinking, coping in all the things she told me not to cope. I have to lie to myself and say that she was just drunk when she said she wanted to die. I have to lie to myself because if I admit she is probably not lying I will lose it. I can't lose her. I just can't. She is my light in the dark. My moon amongst the stars. If I lose her, I'll be lost forever.