Claustrophobia
ANNABELLE LUPIN-BLACK
As we sat on the train, I was so anxious. I felt sick. I couldn't take it. I stood up and started to leave when Theo spoke. "Isn't a bit early in the day to get drunk?" he asked. I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to get some air." I said. I walked off and he followed. "What do you want, Theodore?" I asked as I walked down the halls. "Proof." he said. I scoffed. I walked into the bathrooms at the back of the train and he followed. He shut the door and I got flashbacks to Edmund. I tensed up and backed away. "What are you doing?" I asked, my voice shaky and uneven. "Seeing if you are in fact not drinking." he said. My back hit the corner and I felt like the space was closing in. "Please leave-" I said. "I knew it! You are going-" he started. "I said leave!" I yelled, drawing my wand. My hand trembled and tears filled my eyes. "I'll curse you. I'll do it." I said, fighting back tears. He backed away, putting his hands up in surrender. "Belle, what's wrong?" he asked. "I said no! You- you can't make me-" I stammered. His face fell. "Belle, breathe. Nobody is going to make you do anything." he said. I shook my head and looked around the bathroom. There was no escape. "Belle, breathe. It's ok." he said, reaching out to comfort me. "No!" I yelled. He stepped back. "Ok, ok. Hey, I won't touch you." he said. "Enzo- I need- the hand- pressure- Enzo-" I choked out. He nodded and left. I leaned on the sink, trying to force the air into my lungs. A minute or two later, Enzo walked in. "Hi Anna, I'm going to come in now and sit next to you. Is that ok?" he asked. I nodded. He knelt in front of me and I looked at him. "Can I touch you?" he asked. I nodded. He took my hand and pressed gently into my wrist. I took slow breaths and he smiled. "There you go. Just like that." he said gently. I nodded gratefully. "Thank you." I said. "What triggered this one?" he asked. "Something different." I said. "Do you want to tell me?" he asked. I nodded. I liked talking to Enzo. He listened. And he understood. He nodded and shut the door. He sat down across from me and smiled. "Go ahead." he said. So I told him everything. I told him about Edmund and what he did. He nodded and listened intently. When I finished, he was quiet. "I wish my mum had a Theo." he said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "You never would have left Edmund in the first place without him, right?" he asked. "No, I guess not." I said. He nodded. "My mum had a lot of boyfriends. None of them were as bad as Lance. But almost all of them sucked. They treated her and me like shit. But she stayed with them." he said. "Because nobody taught her she deserved more." I said. He nodded. "I never realized what Theo did for me. He taught me what real love is." I said. He smiled. "I'm glad he did." he said. That's when I felt a tear fall. "I just wish I realized how much I really loved him before I screwed everything up." I said. "Do you think it's too late?" he asked. "I chose booze and cigarettes over him. I made him miserable and I broke his heart." I said. "That's not what I asked." he said. I sighed. "He's happy now. With Astoria. I don't want to ruin that." I said. He gave a nod of understanding. Then the train pulled to a stop. "We're here." he said. He stood up and held out his hands. I took them and he pulled me to my feet. "Ready to go?" he asked. I chuckled. "As I'll ever be." I said. He laughed. Then we got off the platform and went into the Castle.
Enzo stared in awe as we walked through the halls to the Great Hall. I looked at him and laughed. "I completely forgot! You've never seen the castle." I said. He nodded. "It's incredible. Completely different from Durmstrang." he said. I nodded. We walked into the Great Hall and Enzo was sorted into Slytherin. He sat down at their table and I waved from Gryffindor. Just then, Harry walked in blood all over his face. He sat down next to me and I looked at him in shock. "What the hell happened to you?" I asked. "Ask your best friend." he spat. My face fell. "I don't understand." I said. "Malfoy. He's pissed about his father and somehow that's my fault." he said. I glanced over at the Slytherin table and Draco was just sitting there. He was staring at the ground and his face was void of emotion. "I'll talk to him. Ok?" I said. He shrugged. "Are you ok?" I asked. He nodded. Then, Dumbledore gave his speech and the feast began. I looked at the food and paused. I haven't been eating much lately. Ever since Sirius died, I'm never hungry. It worried Theo. When he stayed at my house over the summer, he brought me every meal, with a flower. He was trying so hard to help me and I didn't even care. It broke my heart. I looked up and Theo was watching me. I piled a bunch of food on my plate and began to eat. I saw him smile and I couldn't help but smile too.
When the feast ended, everyone went to their dorms. But I went to Draco's. I knocked on the door and he opened it. He looked just as wrecked as when I first saw him. "He deserved it." Draco grumbled. I pushed past him and started to pace. Draco shut the door and sighed. "Draco, I'm trying. Ok? I'm going against my morals, my beliefs, every part of me saying I need to tell my dad or Harry or someone. I'm fighting all of it and keeping your secret." I said. "I know." he said. "So don't make it harder!" I yelled. He sighed. "I understand your angry but it wasn't Harry's fault. Your father made his choice. He made his choice a long time ago." I said. "I know." he repeated. "You need to make your choice." I said. He looked at me quickly. "I can go to Dumbledore, right now. He can help you-" I started. "No!" he yelled as he grabbed me and slammed me against the wall. "No fucking way!" he spat. I flinched and pulled away. "Let go." I whimpered. "If you tell Dumbledore, the Dark Lord will kill my mum and I will kill you!" he yelled. "Draco, let go." I said. "Say you won't tell him!" he yelled. I stared at him with fear in my eyes, as tears streamed down my cheeks. ""Promise me!" he screamed. "Please don't hurt me!" I cried out as I cowered away. He went still. He let go and stepped back, his face white as a ghost. "Anna- I- I didn't- I'm so sorry." he said. I just ran.
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|In The Dark|
Fanfiction"Sometimes we have to fall apart before we can put ourselves back together again."