|In The Dark|

55

Traitor

ANNABELLE LUPIN-BLACK

I was in tears after hearing what Enzo went through. It's awful. He didn't deserve that. "It wasn't your fault." I said. "You really believe that?" he asked. "Of course! You cannot blame yourself for the actions of that man." I said. He looked at me like a puzzle he couldn't solve. "Then why do you blame yourself for what Donovan did to you?" he asked. My face fell.
"How do you- How'd you know his name? Did you know him? Were you his friend?" I asked. He shook his head. "He was older than me and he and his friends were a bunch of prats." he said. I just nodded. "But I know what happened to you. And I know it wasn't your fault." he said gently. "You have no idea!" I yelled. "Then tell me," he replied calmly. I stared at him. "Fine." I said. "Our school was hosting the TriWizard Tournament. They threw this big dance called the Yule Ball. We all got dressed up and there was a band. Theo asked me to be his date. It was actually a lot of fun now that I remember it. Then Theo and I split up. I went to clean up and on my way back- I- I got distracted. Anyway, when I got back to the ball, Theo was gone. We always went to the Astronomy Tower together so I headed there. On my way there, I passed Donovan in the hallway. He told me he was lost and I felt bad. I figured since I was part of the host school I shouldn't leave him abandoned. We started to walk back to the party and he just started talking. He was telling me how pretty I was and he told me he liked to play with pretty girls. I told him I had to find my date and that's when he grabbed me. I tried to scream for help but he covered my mouth. He took me into an empty classroom and- and he-he um-he rip-ripped my dress. He touched me and he- he" I stammered as I exhaled a shaky breath. "Annabelle, breathe." Enzo said. "I-I can't." I stammered. "Yes, you can. Look at me. Just look at me and breathe." he said, taking my hands. I looked into his eyes and inhaled and exhaled. He smiled. "There you go, you're safe. He can't hurt you." he said softly. I nodded. "It's ok. It happens to me too." he said. "Really?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. "Sometimes I get trapped in my mind, in the memories. I have to remind myself where I am, that I'm safe." he said. "How do you do that?" I asked. "Give me your hand." he said. I looked at him with hesitation. "I would never hurt you Annabelle, I swear on my life. Just trust me" he said. "I don't trust anyone." I said. He nodded. "I used to think that way. I used to ice everyone out and live off whiskey and cigarettes." he said. "So? What happened?" I asked. "I realized it's a very lonely life to live. And when you push everyone away, you might just end up pushing away the one person who could save your life." he said. I stared at him for a moment before turning around. "Ok." I said. "Whenever I feel trapped in my own mind, I have someone do this to pull me out," he said. Then he pressed his thumb at the points just below my wrist. It was a strange pressure but it worked. I turned back around. "How'd you learn that?" I asked. "Someone I pushed away taught me. They used to do it for me. Now I have to do it for myself." he said. He looked down and forced a sad smile. "Like I said, it's a very lonely life when you push away the people who care for you," he said. "You're talking about Theo..." I said. He smiled. "I don't know you very well Annabelle, but I do know Theo. And he loves you." he said. "So I've heard." I mumbled. "He does. And I get the feeling you love him" he said. "It doesn't matter anymore. He's done with me." I said. "If you say so," he said with a smirk. "Tell me who your person was. The one you pushed away." I said. He groaned. "Why?" he asked. "Because it's not fair that I have to do all the sharing." I said. He laughed. "I guess that's true," he said. "So tell me what her name was?" I asked. He smiled. "Fine, her name was Lucille," he said. "That's a pretty name." I said. "She was a pretty girl. She made flower crowns and always wore white socks with lace. She hated the dark and loved the beach. She loved me too." he said. "So what happened?" I asked. "I was stupid. I couldn't accept that she loved me. It scared me and I pushed her away. Eventually she got tired of waiting and fell in love with someone else." he said. I nodded. "Do you still miss her?" I asked. He nodded. "But she's better off without me. I wasn't ready for her and we were destined to implode eventually." he said. "I think there might be some history repeating here." I said. "With you and Theo?" he questioned. I nodded. Enzo and I talked and talked until the sun rose. Eventually, everyone came downstairs. While Blaise was complaining about sleeping on the chair, Enzo and I went to bring Astoria breakfast and wake up Theo. We looked in the door and heard laughing. Theo and her were smiling, laughing, and being happy. It's the first time I've seen Theo smile in a while. But it was with her. Not me, her. "History repeating" I sighed. Enzo gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze and brought their food in. I walked back downstairs and into the kitchen. Dad sat there drinking tea and reading the Daily Prophet. I sat down and poured a cup of tea. "Hey kiddo," he said. "Hi," I said. "How are you?" he asked. "Fine." I replied. I started to drink my tea when I noticed he was looking at me. "What?" I asked. He smiled. "Nothing, I just-" he started. I looked at him curiously. "You haven't talked about what happened with Donovan with anyone, ever. Not like you did last night." he said. "Were you eavesdropping?" I exclaimed. "No, I wasn't. I couldn't sleep so I came downstairs to make some tea. But then I heard you and Lorenzo speaking. I only heard you talking for a minute or two and then I left." he said. I nodded. "I didn't think you would tell Lorezno what happened. You barely know him." he said. "There's more to it than meets the eye." I said. "Ok." he replied. We sat there and continued to drink our tea. People came in and out of the kitchen and I could hear talking throughout the house. "Do you always have trouble sleeping?" I asked. Dad looked up at me. "Sometimes I still reach out for your dad before I remember he's not there," he said. I hugged him. "I'm sorry dad" I whispered. "It's ok. I know he's still with me." he said. I nodded. "I like having your friends here. It's better than the house being quiet. I couldn't take the quiet. This house was made for laughter." he said. " I was thinking the same thing." I said. He nodded and we went back to sitting together. Just us. But it still felt wrong without him. I decided to go check on Astoria and her injuries. I grabbed my healer's bag and knocked on the door. There was a moment of rustling and whispers before I heard Theo speak. "Yeah?" he called out. I opened the door and walked in. I looked at him and within a second, I knew. I knew by Theo's ruffled hair and Astoria's lips what I walked into. I knew what I interrupted. I just knew. I took a breath and ignored the ache in my heart that I felt. I put a smile on my face. "We were just-" Theo started. "I need to run a diagnostic and tend to Astoria's injuries." I said, interrupting him. He looked down. I walked over to Astoria. She smiled at me. "I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me and my sister. Saving us and letting us stay here, I'm truly grateful. I nodded. "It's no trouble. My father and I like having people here. The house is too quiet otherwise." I said. "My condolences for what happened to Sirius. I heard such great things about him." she said. "Thanks" I mumbled. I quietly changed her bandages and ignored their voices. Theo looked at me and I could tell he was trying to tell how I was reacting to it. To him kissing Astoria a few days after we ended things in my own house. I couldn't be mad at Astoria. She was nice and she had no idea of Theo and I's history. It's not her fault. "Your injuries are healing quite well. Just keep resting and stay hydrated. Theo can help you with anything else." I said. Then I stood up and walked out. "Belle, wait-" Theo called out. I just kept walking. I went to my room and tried to shut my door but he blocked it. He pushed the door open and I stepped back. "What do you want, Theodore?" I asked. "I just- I-" he stammered. "If you are trying to figure out a way to explain how you are snogging Astoria just a few days after we broke up in my own house, don't bother." I said. "Listen, I'm sorry. But how long did you want me to wait? What's the magic number where it's suddenly allowed?" he asked. "It's not like that. It's not about you being allowed. I just don't understand how you would want to. How are you already kissing another girl? My heart is still in pieces. I can barely breathe it hurts so bad. I can't even think about someone else let alone kiss them." I said. "Belle, I'm sorry. I just-" he started. "Don't apologize. I don't want your apologies. I just don't get it." I said. "Get what?" he asked. "If you really loved me the way you said you did, there's no way you could be falling in love with someone so quickly." I said. "What are you saying? That I was cheating on you? I didn't even know her until now! I never-" he started. I stopped and turned around.
"No. You didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor." I said. Then I pushed him out and shut the door.