|In The Dark|

38

Tell Us The Truth

ANNABELLE LUPIN-BLACK

"Is that true?" I turned around and faced him. Theo.
Theo stood there with tears in his eyes. Draco, Blaise and Pansy stood behind him. "Did he tell you to say all that stuff to us? To make us hate you?" he asked. I stared at him as my eyes watered. I didn't know what to say. I just nodded. "I don't know what to say to you guys. Sorry sound pretty pathetic." I said. "Just tell us the truth." Pansy said. I nodded. I opened my mouth to speak but Blaise spoke instead. "Can we at least go outside and smoke while we talk? I'm already a wreck from Umbridge's spectacle earlier." he said. We all nodded and walked outside to our smoking spot. "I don't know where to start." I said. "The beginning." Draco said. I nodded again.

"He found out about my dad's condition. I don't know how. He threatened to tell Umbridge and everyone else unless I did what he said." I said. "Why?" Blaise asked. "He wanted revenge for last year. He said it wasn't fair that I broke up with him and then dated Theo. He said I'm a slut and stuff." I said. Theo was just staring at the grass smoking fast. "He said I had to break Theo's heart-" I started. "Well congrats-fucking-lations. You did that." Draco snapped. I looked up with tears in my eyes. "I know." I said quietly. "Then I was supposed to destroy my friendships with you guys. That's why I said what I said. I needed you guys to hate me." I said. "You accomplished that too." Draco mumbled. "Draco, shut up and let her talk." Pansy said. He rolled his eyes. "Then he basically just used me everyday." I said quietly. I could see Theo clench his fists and tighten his jaw. "Then fucking Harry saw the stupid fucking bruises and went to my dad. Edmund found out and well... end of the story." I said. They all just sat there quietly. "Can you guys say something? Anything. Tell me you still hate me and I deserved what Edmund did, or tell me I'm a slut or tell me something!" I said. "Bloody hell princess, calm down. You aren't a slut." Blaise said. "If anyone takes that title, it's me." Pansy said with a smirk. "It's not your fault. We forgive you because we know you didn't mean that shit." Blaise said. I nodded. "You forgive her. One I'm sorry and we're supposed to be cool." Draco said. "Draco, mate. She was protecting her dad. You can't blame her for that." Blaise said. "That's exactly what I plan to do." Draco said, still glaring at me. "Draco, please, can we just talk?" I asked. "No. Fuck you and fuck our deal and fuck all the other bullshit you ever said to me. Fuck all of it. You may not have meant what you said to us but it had to come from somewhere. So fuck off!" he yelled. Then he stormed off. Blaise and Pansy stared at each other. "That was an excessive amount of fucks even for him." Blaise mumbled and Pansy nodded. "He'll come around." Pansy said. I looked at Theo. He was still smoking fast and heavily focused on his shoelaces. "Please just say something, Theo." I said softly, looking at him. He looked up at me and our eyes locked again. They were still blue but they were different. There was sadness, sorrow. Like the light had faded or dimmed. "What do you want me to say Belle?" he asked. "Anything. Tell me whatever you want. Tell me to fuck off if that's what you want to say, just say something." I said. He just gave me a sad smile. "I'm glad your safe Belle." he said. Then he left too. "I really did break him, didn't I?" I said. They looked at each other and stayed quiet. "Tell me what happened, after I said it all," I said. Blaise sighed. "It was bad Belle, really bad." he said. "I just listened to Draco tell me to fuck off in like 5 different ways like 10 times in a row. Just tell me what happened." I said. They exchanged glances and nodded. "Fine." Pansy said. "First, he wouldn't get out of bed. Then Draco and I finally dragged him out. That's when his party started." Blaise said. "Party?" I asked. They nodded. "He locked us out of the dorm and drank and drank and smoked and smoked. I swear I could smell the weed and firewhiskey through the door." Pansy said. Tears escaped down my cheeks and I wiped them away.

"Then it was quiet. He had put up so many locking charms, Draco had to break down the door." Blaise said. "When we got in, he was unconscious. He did some cocaine laced with some fuked up shit. He was out for a few days but then he was back to just staying in bed. We all took turns watching him." Pansy said. I exhaled a shaky breath. "Did he ever-talk-about me?" I asked. "Yeah." Blaise said. Pansy shook her head. "Just tell me." I said. "Fine. He cried a lot. He wanted to know why he wasn't enough for anyone. He kept remembering his mom and then he would remember you. He thought he wasn't enough for you and that's why you were leaving him. He said he hated you, then he said he loved you. A lot of drunken back and forth." Pansy said. I just nodded. "Ok." I said quietly. They just nodded quietly.

"What should I do?" I asked. "First, you need to fix shit with Draco," Pansy said. "But Theo-" I started. "Draco isn't going to let you within 5 feet of Theo until you fix things with him." Blaise said. "You're right." I said. "Do you want us to help you find him?" Pansy asked. I shook my head. "It's alright..." I started as I got up and grabbed my bag. "I know exactly where he is." I said. I could smell the cigarette smoke as I walked down the stairs into our secret alcove. He was sitting with his back to the corner and his eyes closed. I put my bag down and sat next to him. "I told you to fuck off." he said. His voice was calmer now, quieter. "If you wanted me to fuck off, you wouldn't have come here." I said. He tried to hide the smirk on his face. "Whatever" he muttered. "I know you have a lot more shit to say so say it. Tell me everything. Tell me all the shit you had to do for Theo and tell me how I fucked up. Say everything you want to." I said. He shrugged. "I don't have anything left to say," he said. "Come on Draco, I know that's not true." I said. He looked at me and began smoking again. I lit a cigarette too. "I don't. You should already know it all." he started. I looked at him strangely. "You should know how you broke my best mate's heart even after you promised not to. You should know how you made Pansy ignore us for a few days because what you said hurt her so bad she thought we hated her too. You should know that Blaise and I didn't get much sleep because we had to watch Theo like a hawk to stop him from downing more drinks. You should know how angry I was because I trusted you and you hurt me just like everyone else. But what you should really know is how angry I am because even though you hurt all of us and even though you broke Theo's heart, we were all still worried about you. Theo still loved you and spent every second trying to figure out how to be better. He kept trying to figure out how to be enough for you. That's what you should know. Is that what you wanted me to say? Is that what you wanted to hear?" he asked. I just stared at him and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "I never meant to hurt you guys like that." I said. "Yes, you did. You knew exactly-" he started. "No!" I yelled. He stopped and looked at me. "I didn't. I mean, I knew it would hurt Theo. But not like that. When Edmund told me what I had to do, it broke my heart. But I guess, well I guess I always thought you guys were better off without me." I said. He just stared at me. "How could you think that?" he said. "Oh gee I don't know, maybe if not for me, you wouldn't have been tortured by your own father." I said. He sighed and took a long inhale of his smoke. "Anna, that wasn't your fault." he said. I groaned in frustration as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Stop saying that!" I yelled. I stood up and stepped on my cigarette. "Nothing is ever my fault!" I yelled. He stood up too and looked at me with confusion. "What?" he said. 

"That's all anyone ever says. It's not my fault. It wasn't my fault when I got raped the first time. It wasn't my fault your father found that memory, it wasn't my fault Edmund blackmailed me. People say it's not my fault but it is. Maybe if I wasn't weak I could have stopped Donovan, maybe if I was a better witch I could have blocked out your father in my mind. Maybe if I was more careful of where I talked about my bloody dad, Edmud would have never found out. People always say it wasn't my fault but maybe what they really mean is we are going to say this to make you feel better about being too pathetic to save yourself instead of everyone else having to do it for you!" I screamed. Draco walked over and grabbed my hands. "Annabelle, when I say it wasn't your fault, I mean you cannot blame yourself for the actions of others. You aren't weak or pathetic. You are human." he said. "I just keep screwing up and the people I love pay the price for it. Maybe it would be better if I was just gone." I said. "I'd rather be tortured for a thousand hours than live my life without you," he said. "I wish Theo-" I started

"Theo would say the exact same thing. He still loves you and won't ever stop." he said. "Should I go-" I started. He smiled and nodded. "Yes, go talk to him," he said. I nodded. "I love you Draco." I said. He smiled again. "I love you too Annabelle." he said.