I didn't sleep all night. I just stared at my ceiling and let Edmund fill my head. It was like an internal argument with myself. I could hear my thoughts trying to win a debate.
I loved him. I thought I did. No, I do. He loves me and I love him. If he loves you, why does he make you do things that you aren't comfortable with. Because sometimes things make me uncomfortable and I'm probably being unreasonable. Didn't your dad say he trusts your judgement. Yes. Well then you should trust yourself. If you don't want to do something, you don't have to. But I've been dating him for almost 2 years. All we've done is make out and some intense groping. I also gave him a few blowjobs and handjobs. Did you want to do that? I didn't really care. You shouldn't feel unsafe with your own boyfriend at any time. What about those anger issues? He just gets upset and jealous. All people do that. Yeah but he yelled at you and called you a prude. That seems unreasonable. He was just upset. You are really good at making excuses for him. He won't even remember it tomorrow so why does it matter. So he won't apologize?
You know you really aren't very helpful....Funny you say that when I'm your subconscious.
My thoughts are just the ones you don't acknowledge.
Eventually the sun rose and Hermione's first alarm went off. She woke up and immediately started to get ready. That included hitting me and Ginny with pillows. "Get up! First day of lessons. We have to get to the great hall early to get our timetables." she said. Ginny groaned and smushed a pillow over her head. I just rolled out of bed and started to get ready, the debate in my head continued. I got dressed and packed my bag. Then I tucked my wand in my robe and went to the common room.
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Harry and Ron were already there waiting for us so I sat on the couch. "Where's Mione and Ginny?" Ron asked. "Still getting ready. It should only be a few minutes." I said. They nodded and I stared off into space. "Hey Anna-" Harry said, shaking my arm. Hermione and Ginny had walked down and we were leaving. I stood up and walked next to Harry as we headed for the Great Hall. "Are you ok?" he asked quietly. I nodded. "I heard. Last night. I heard what he said to you." Harry whispered. I looked at him quickly. "What? Were you spying on me?" I asked. "No, I couldn't sleep. I went to read in the common room. I saw you push him off you. Then he called you a prude. Does he-" Harry started. "I know what happened Harry. It doesn't matter." I said. "Yes, it does. Does he always treat you like that?" he asked. "I'm fine." I said. "That's not what I asked." he said. "No. Edmund just has a temper. You know that, you're on the quidditch team with him." I said. "If how he acts when we lose is any indication of how he acts when you guys fight, that just worries me even more." Harry said. We walked in and Edmund was already sitting down. "Just drop it Harry, please." I said. Then I walked over and sat down next to Edmund. He looked over and smiled at me. "Hey Ed, how are you?" I asked. "Hungover. I got a little drunk last night." he said sluggishly. I handed him the hangover cure potion I keep in my bag. "Here" I said. He downed it and perked up a bit. "Why do you keep this in your bag?" he asked.
For you, because you always get drunk when we fight which is a lot.
"Just in case, I don't know." I said. He nodded and we started eating. He talked about quidditch with Oliver and the twins. I could help but notice Theo kept glancing over at us. He raised an eyebrow at me and I ignored him. What is his deal? "Why do you keep looking over there?" Edmund whispered to me. His head was turned to face me and I looked at him quickly. "I was just zoned out, sorry." I said. "No, you were looking at someone. Who was it?" he asked. His voice lowered and I recognized the look in his eyes. "Nobody, I wasn't looking anywhere. I-I was just thinking." I said. He rolled his eyes. "Come with me." he said. He stood up and headed for the hall. I grabbed my bag and rushed after him.
"Were you looking at that Cedric kid?" he asked. "What?" I said. "You thought I wouldn't find out didn't you? Oh yes, I heard all about your little adventure to the world cup with him-" he started. "Edmund, I don't even know him that well. He's just a friend." I said. "Yeah right. Is that why you want to take things slow with me? So you can spread your legs for everyone else?" he spat. "Why are you being like this? Why can't I just be your girlfriend without having to have sex with you whenever you want?" I asked. He stepped forward and I stepped back. My back hit the wall and I felt trapped. "Because when I asked you out I was under the impression you were a slut. Not an interesting person to be around." he scoffed. My eyes watered. "How could you say that? You used to be-" I started.
"Am I interrupting something?" Edmund and I both turned our heads to see Theodore Nott. Of fucking course. "Actually yes. I'm just having a discussion with my girlfriend. A private discussion." Edmund said. I stared at the floor and avoided Theo's stare. "Oh well sorry but I just ran into Professor Lupin. He asked me to get Annabelle for him." Theo said. Edmund looked at me, then back to Theo. "Whatever, I have to make arrangements for quidditch anyway." he said and he walked off. Theo walked next to me as I headed for my dad's classroom.
"Are you going to thank me?" he asked smugly. I glared at him. "Why would I thank you?" I replied. "Well clearly you needed an out." he said. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "I was fine. We were talking about the tournament." I lied. He smirked at me. "Interesting. You see, I was standing on the other side of the corner and I heard every word. So that's funny." he said. "So what are you stalking me now?" I asked as I continued to walk. He shrugged. "Sure, why not?" he said laughing to himself. I stopped in my tracks and looked at him. "It was a joke Belle." he said. "I told you not to call me that." I snapped. He just smirked. "So are you going to listen to me yet or do you want to just wait until it gets worse?" he asked. This time it wasn't a joke.
I grabbed his arm and dragged him into an empty broom closet. "What do you want from me Theo?" I exclaimed. "I want to stop you from falling into something nobody should ever have to suffer through." he said calmly. There was sadness in his eyes. He blinked it away and walked out. He shut the door and I stared at the empty room for a while before I walked out and into DADA. And of course, I was late. Today is off to a great start.
