Bente Kwatro

19. Vow

Past two na nang makarating ako sa University. Gustong gusto ko na lang bumaba ng sasakyan at mag-iiyak dahil siguradong wala na akong maaabutan.

Agad akong tumakbo sa loob ng campus at naglakad dere-derecho papunta sa auditorium.

May mangilan-ngilang tao sa labas na nakatingin sa projector. Papasok sana ako pero pinigilan ako ng security.

"Pasensya na kayo Ma'am. Puno na po sa loob. Hindi na po kami nagpapapasok." Pinasadahan pa niya ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa.

"But I have an invitation! There's a reserve seat for me!"

"Naiintindihan ko po Ma'am. Pero kung dumating po sana kayo ng mas maaga, okay lang sana. Pero halos patapos na rin po ang ceremony. Makakaistorbo lang po kayo."

"Seriously?!" Hindi ko na napigilan ang mapasipa. Napahilamos pa ako sa aking mukha. "Shit! Ang layo pa ng pinanggalingan ko!"

"Pasensya na po talaga Ma'am." Sabi pa ng security saka ako tinalikuran.

Napapikit ako ng mariin. Hindi na ba talaga ako mauubusan ng kamalasan sa katawan? Sa muli kong pagmulat, inilibot ko ang aking paningin sa paligid. Marami rin ang nakatayo at nanonood sa projector. Marahil kaya meron nito sa labas ay para mapanood din ng ibang hindi nakapasok sa loob ang ceremony. I wonder kung ilan ba kami ritong galing ng present time? O ako lang kaya? Damn! For what am I thinking such things right at this moment!

"And may we call on, Ms. Charmaine Gozon, the batch Cum Laude!"

Pasimple kong pinahid ang aking mga mata na nabasa ng luha saka tumingin sa projector. Nagpunta ako sa isang puno na may dalawang babaeng nakatayo. Saglit lang nila akong sinulyapan at muling ibinaling ang tingin sa projector. Ganon din ang ginawa ko.

"I won't take much time for this speech. Because I know everyone of us here wants to go and celebrate this special day with our special ones." Tipid siyang ngumiti saka pasimpleng tumingin sa paligid. I know by the looks of her, she's disappointed and hurt. For sure because she didn't see me around. Nagkibit balikat siya saka muling nagpatuloy. "Actually this is just a 'thank you' message. First of all, for our professors whom put their all knowledge and effort just to make sure we will learn more. I salute you for having unlimited patience for teaching. To my fellow graduates, thank you for sharing with me not only learnings but experiences in different aspects of life. And of course to my friends, na hindi ko na kailangang isa-isahin dahil alam nyo na kung sino kayo..." Napatawa siya sa kanyang tinuran. "To my sister Chai and my mother Carmela, I wouldn't reach this far without the two of you." She paused and bit her lip. She was trying to control herself from crying. "And to you, Alexa, though you're not here..."

Sa hindi ko maintindihang dahilan, tila ba may mga dagang pumasok sa dibdib ko at nag-uunahang makalabas mula rito. Is this the reason why she was pushing me to come that day? She would like to dedicate her speech for me?!

"There were those sleepless nights that I felt like I don't want to continue, but you were always there to remind me the reason why I even started. There were those projects and deadlines that I panicked and crammed, but you were always there to preach and then calmed me just to stay in focus. There were those times that I cried so hard because I couldn't come up with ideas that I needed for the report that I had to submit by the next day, but you were always there to bring me my favorite snack, give me some pep talk and after sometime I'm back in my right mind." She stopped and laughed kahit pa nga may luha sa kanyang mga mata. "Its hard living on my own, far away from my mother and my sister but you made it easier for me." Bigla siyang napatawa. "Actually this is not really a speech, its a vow!" Nagtawanan naman at nagpalakpakan ang crowd.