Bereft (h.s)

60. Tomorrow Will Be Better.

Chapter 60

Alycia's Pov.

The bus lightly vibrates as I laid in bed with Harry's face buried in my neck.

The minute I walked out of the bathroom in the venue after pulling myself together, he was waiting there.

He kept questioning if I was okay and if I needed anything before apologizing for the bus argument. Trying to keep it together as he finally became touchy and talkative has been hard.

I want to cry.

I can see the guilt. I can see he feels guilty and I just feel so betrayed. I can't help but feel like shit myself though because I caused him to be so fucking worried all the time. Is that why he's been doing drugs while i'm gone? To keep his mind off of me and if i'm okay? To keep his mind off of the tape? Everything I've caused?

I never should've started any of this with him.

I knew better and now i'm heartbroken and I'm hurting because I know i've unintentionally hurt him. I've put him in a dark place and I always warned him. I told him it would happen and it did.

I knew better.

I felt myself start to get anxiety as I breathed heavy.

I slowly moved out from Harry, hoping not to wake him up but he lightly groaned.

"Hey...you okay?" He mumbled and I nodded. "Uhm, yeah. Yeah, I just have to pee." I said as I tried to sound as me as possible.

I quickly went towards the bathroom before I felt a fucking wave of cold sweats hit me.

I'm in shock and I haven't fully processed everything yet. It'd be easier if someone else had betrayed me. At least I'd have my best friend to talk to. But what happens when he's the one that did it? Although he hasn't felt like my best friend in a while.

I sat down on the floor as the tears rushed out of my eyes and I couldn't stop myself as every emotion hit me again but this time, anxiety was mixed in heavily.

Everything I was scared of in the beginning is coming true. I wish I never would've let him convince me we were a good idea. I love him. I do. I don't regret this with him because I fell in love but on the other hand I do regret it. Because I love him and now i'm hurt.

I stayed practically inaudible with my sobs before a light knock was heard at the door.

"Can I come in?" I heard Harry ask quietly from the door and I still had my head in my hands.

Please don't come in.

Before I even knew what was happening, I felt familiar hands on my wrists.

"Hey...baby, what's wrong? Talk to me. What happened?"

You happened.

I just let the silent tears continue to flow as I didn't move my hands from my head.

"Baby please. The doors closed, no one can hear us. What happened? Please talk to me." He pleaded and I shook my head. "I don't wanna talk to you." I admitted and i'm glad I couldn't see the look on his face.