Bereft (h.s)

66. I'm Back.

the song alycia writes in this chapter is Bad At Love by Halsey :))

Chapter 66

Alycia's Pov.

3 Weeks Later

"Let's try the other sound on the end. I think it sounds better." Matt said as he changed the ending sound of the song to the one we had before.

I've been working nonstop the past three weeks. I've been writing so much.

I left New York two days after the whole situation with Harry in the bar. I haven't spoke to Harry since the day after that night. It was only brief. It was a message from him telling me he's giving up his phone as a part of some rehabilitation thing for two weeks.

I thought he meant he had cancelled tour but he had not. Jeff somehow managed to get some people on tour for Harry. No one knows obviously. I mean, besides his immediate friends and the band. Jeff also took over the liberty of posting a picture for every night of tour on Harry's Instagram so no one suspected anything.

It's been three weeks now so he has his phone back and the first leg of the tour ended yesterday but I haven't heard from him. I understand. He has to do what he has to do. It's just given me a bit of anxiety. I don't know how he is or how he feels about me anymore.

I don't know if we would ever get back together anyways after all the damage that was done but I still love him of course so I just worry that this whole rehabilitation process made him look at me differently in a negative way. I never want that so it's just been scary.

I haven't spoke to Jeff recently either but I asked how he was like a week later and Jeff told he was doing well. That's the last time we spoke.

Matt and Sierra were both so out of the loop with everything. They didn't even know I wasn't still on tour with him. The day I got back, I had to update Matt on everything. He was completely taken aback. I left out the part about Harry almost overdosing. No one besides Jeff, Mitch, Sarah and I know. And that's how it's gonna stay. I never even told Ru. Even though she continually told me 'you smell like vomit' on our ride back from the bar.

It's been hard the past three weeks. Really hard. I know Caroline left tour the day after that night at the bar. It's not anything like that. It's just...I haven't been able to talk to him. At all. It's just such a change from the last few months.

Dylan has been strangely quiet as well. It's been nerve wracking because it's been weeks and I don't know what's going on. I know it's stupid but I also kind of wonder if he's okay.

"Alright, we'll leave that one and you can start the new one. Show it to me first." Matt said with a smile as he spun around in his chair.

Matt has been my lifesaver the past three weeks. We've spent so much time together. He's made sure to keep me occupied and not let me get too down about everything that's happened.

Him and Sierra did not end up going on to be anything serious but they have become good friends as well so she's been around us both a lot too.

"Okay, so I'm not sure about putting it on the album-" "You say that with every song." He said with a laugh, which is true. "Which ends up being what happens. I don't." I told him as I pulled out my journal.

"Okay, let's start with the guitar." Matt said as he picked it up.

We hummed until he got it right, all the usuals, before I started singing out all the lyrics I had.

"Got a boy back home in NYC
And it tastes like Jack when I'm kissing him
So I told him that I never really liked his friends
Now he's gone and he's calling me a bitch again
There's a guy that lives in a garden state
And he told me that we make it 'til we graduate
So I told him that the music would be worth the wait
But he wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe
That we're meant to be
But jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy
Get the best of me
Look, I don't mean to frustrate, but I
Always make the same mistakes, yeah I
Always make the same mistakes 'cause
I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)
But you can't blame me for tryin'
You know I'd be lyin' sayin'
You were the one (ooh-ooh)
That could finally fix me
Lookin' at my history
I'm bad at love" I sang all at once and looked up at Matt as I finished singing all I had.

"Oh wow...Alycia that's a hit." He said and I smiled. "Okay maybe I do like it after all." I told him and he smiled. "Good. As you should."

The next few hours we spent just working on writing the rest of that song, along with many others. It's been extremely therapeutic to have this kind of outlet. Music has truly helped me in more ways than I could ever explain.

We finally were getting ready to leave and Matt asked me if I wanted to get dinner and stay with him but I told him I would give him a night to himself. We've been staying together a lot. I feel like i'm suffocating him. I know he's just trying to be a good friend and he's been just that and more. Way more than I could've asked for but I don't want to suffocate him.

When I picked up Jasper from Jeff's house after I got back, I actually cried. I was so happy. I missed him so much. He's been my cuddle buddy since forever but he's especially been so comforting these last weeks. We decided Jake should just stay with Glenn, Jeffs wife.

I pulled up to my apartment and got into the lobby before taking the elevator up.

Sierra has also been extra attentive, she's just worried i'm gonna go into another depressive episode I think, because I swear she texts me 15 times a day just 'checking on me.'

The door of the elevator opened and I walked out, looking down at my phone to text Sierra back before I ran into someone.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry."

I looked up and was completely shocked to see him and I swear my heart stopped at the site.

"Hi there. I'm back."

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