Bereft (h.s)

1. Carolina is my favorite.

Song in this chapter is 100 Letters: Halsey

CHAPTER 1

Alycia's Pov.

I think having your first song ever do so well is more pressure than just having it do nothing or be average in the charts. I never expected the response I got from putting out Colors.

Colors had everything to do with Dylan. My ex boyfriend. Dylan was the picture perfect boyfriend. He was kind. He was caring. He was always there for me. But Dylan has always had trauma and never truly opened up about it. As it usually does at some point when not taken care of, it catches up to you.

He lost it.

He always said he travelled for his job. He never would give me the specifics of his job...but I was always pretty sure I knew what he did for a living. I just think he has always been doing some very sketchy shit.

He goes on fucking benders for weeks at a time now. He's always got some kind of drug coursing through his veins. Usually drunk. Extremely violent.

Colors was about my relationship with him. How over time I slowly saw it fade from its bright color to grey. How I didn't see him making it to his next year on the road he's on.

Everything is grey
His hair, his smoke, his dreams
And now he's so devoid of color
He don't know what it means

He's so bereft of everything that made him the way he was. That made me love him. I believe he loved me. But now, he's just violently possessive.

It's been six months since we've broken up. That doesn't mean he doesn't follow me. Doesn't mean when he sees me out, he doesn't text me hateful shit and show up at my door banging. It doesn't mean he's not still violent towards me.

It just means I left him.

And he didn't take no for an answer.

I picked up the guitar while Matt strummed along to the chords I played.

"How can Midas put his hands on me again?
He said "one day I'd realize why I don't have any friends"
I find myself alone at night
Unless I'm havin' sex
But he can make me golden if I just showed some respect"

I sang while looking down at my strumming.

Matt and I are close. We've been writing partners since I can remember. Way before it was serious. He's been in this business a long time now. He's the main reason I even started writing seriously.

He made me feel like my music was good enough.

Matt is also a producer, and a really fucking great one.

He strummed before adding in some lyrics.

"He said "please don't go away"
He said "please don't go away"
I said "it's too late"
I said "it's too late"

I smiled at his added lyrics and continued strumming.

"Maybe an added portion right before that. Then that part can lead right into the chorus." I nodded and continued toying with certain lyrics and words before finding a good fit.

"But I don't let him touch me anymore
I said "I'm not something to butter up
And taste when you get bored
'Cause I have spent too many nights on dirty bathroom floors
To find some peace and quiet right behind a wooden door"

Matt shakes his head. She knows it's not just lyrics. He knows it's true.

That's another reason I love writing with Matt. Matt knows a lot. We're close friends over anything else. I don't feel uncomfortable writing real and honest lyrics around him.

"He said "please don't go away"
He said "please don't go away"
I said "it's too late"
I said "it's too late"

He sang again and it all sounded right.

"And now I can't stop thinking that I can't stop thinking
That I almost gave you everything
And now the whole thing's finished and I can't stop wishing
That I never gave you anything"

I sang the chorus and slowed down my strumming again and Matt smiled.

"I love it."

A knock echoed through the open door of the studio and I saw a guy with messy brown curly hair standing in the doorway.

"Sorry guys, I had a session in here earlier and left my wallet somewhere in here."

I'm not clueless to who this man is.

It's Harry Styles.

Matt smiled and Harry's eyes lit up like he just realized who it was.

"Ahh Matt, how are you mate?" He smiled and Matt got up so he could hug him. "I'm good man, how are you? It's been ages." "I've been good man. I caught the tail end of that song, it's beautiful." He said and looked at me.

I don't know if I mentioned how shy I can be, but uhm, very. At first.

I gave him a small smile as he looked down at me from his standing position.

A small little smirk played on his lips and Matt spoke up.

"She's insanely talented." "I'm Harry, it's nice to meet you." Matt was behind him and gave me a look as if to stand up and greet this man.

"I'm Alycia. It's nice to meet you." I said with a smile and he pulled me into a hug.

He smelled heavenly. I'm not weird okay? He just literally is engulfed in this warm scent.

"Alycia Evans?" He questioned after he pulled away from the hug and I tried not to let the look of shock go over my face.

It's no way he knows me from one single song. I know it did well but it's not exactly something i'd picture him listening to.

"Uhm, yeah." I said with a smile and he smiled. "I love Colors. Very good. My sister actually showed it to me. Didn't know you were based in LA though, or that you wrote with Matt. Great guy he is." He said with a chuckle and I laughed.

"He is. And yeah, I am." He stayed looking at me with a small look on his face that I can't decipher. I just felt awkward. He's not making me uncomfortable by any means, I'm just awkward and he's, well he's him.

Matt spoke up again.

"I thought you just released your album last month." "Yeah, I did. Can't get myself to stay out of the studio though." He said with a breathy laugh and Matt nodded. "Understandable. Your album was insane man. Congrats." "Thank you, thank you."

I felt like I should say something about it too but once again might I say, i'm fucking awkward.

He looked over at me as did Matt and I finally spoke up.

"It was really good. Carolina is my favorite." His face turned up into a half smile, half smirk. "Thank you very much. I hope to be hearing more of your music soon. And it was lovely to meet you." "Lovely to meet you too." I said with a smile.

He grabbed his wallet off the soundboard before he told Matt bye and made his way out of the studios with a head tilt to me.

"Harry Styles likes your music. How is that for reassurance?" Matt said when he left and I laughed.

I picked up one of the candies that Matt always brings in the studio and popped in my mouth.

"I was a One Direction stan Matt. I'm not okay right now." He laughed and sat back down.

"Well Alycia, my darling, Harry Styles is a fan of you."

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