Bereft (h.s)

2. Lovely to be an inspiration.

Song in this chapter is Trouble (Stripped) - Halsey

CHAPTER 2

Alycia's pov.

2 Weeks Later

I wonder if normal people like going out at my age. I can't be the only person who's grown out of that phase at 22. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy having fun out on the town sometimes, but I prefer having my fun in different ways.

Maybe LA is what made me this way though. Since moving here, everything feels so fabricated. It's beautiful, but it's fake.

I miss New York. I miss Harlem. But in order to be successful in my music career, I knew had to come here. And thankfully I did. Because now i'm signed to Columbia Records. It's exciting but it's so fucking overwhelming at the same time.

I'm honestly freaking out.

I grabbed my tea and went to sit on my couch in my living room.

I picked up my guitar, suddenly feeling a lot at once.

Ever since Dylan and I have broken up, I get really anxious at the strangest times. Not because I miss him, but actually because I just never feel alone. In an eery way. He's always been the one to text me at the strangest times and say things that he'd only really know if he were here.

I always convinced myself it was a coincidence because I don't wanna psyche myself out. I'm already paranoid enough as it is.

It didn't help that he texted me this morning saying that he hopes to see me soon. Obviously I didn't respond. I should block him, I know. But i'm honestly scared of his reaction.

I was supposed to go to the studio tonight and work on some songs with Matt but he had to work with some other people and I haven't heard from him yet. He probably lost track of time.

I started strumming and getting some words out that i've been holding in my head for a song.

"Would you bleed for me?
Lick it off my lips like you needed me?
Would you sit me on a couch?
With your fingers in my mouth?
You look so cool when you're reading me"

I grabbed my journal and pen off of the table and scribbled down the words so I didn't forget them before I went back to the guitar.

"Let's cause a little trouble
Oh, you make me feel so weak
I bet you kiss your knuckles
Right before they touch my cheek
But I've got my mind, made up this time
'Cause there's a menace in my bed
Can you see his silhouette?
Can you see his silhouette?
Can you see his silhouette?"

I wrote them down and immediately I know that this needs to be played on a piano and not a guitar.

I have a piano in what is supposed to be my dining room but who the hell do I ever have over? No one. So I just made it a designated area for my piano.

I sat down with my journal and toyed around with different sounds for this song. I finally came to like a certain melody I picked up.

I repeated the same words I wrote a bit earlier and then slowly added some new lyrics.

"And I've got my mind, made up this time
Go on and light a cigarette, set a fire in my head
Set a fire in my head, tonight"

I slowed down the melody before starting back at a steady speed.

"Would you lie for me?
Cross your sorry heart and hope to die for me?
Would you pin me to a wall?
Would you beg or would you crawl?
Stick a needle in your hungry eyes for me?"

My phone beeped and distracted me from my thoughts that were consuming my head of where those lyrics stemmed from. Dylan.

And much to my dismay, his name was resting on my screen.

"hope you're writing some good songs. it's always lovely to be an inspiration of yours"

My anxiety skyrocketed after reading that. This is what I mean. This. He knows everything I do and I don't understand.

There's fucking curtains over my window that's by this piano so he can't even see in here if he was fucking stalking me.

I felt my breathing start to pick up and I know that feeling to well. No. Do not have a panic attack right now Alycia. He is not here. He's getting inside your fucking head.

Jasper, my wonderful dog, walked in and his presence immediately calmed me down.

"Jas, hi baby." I said as I kneeled down and he snuggled into me.

Jasper is very protective and that's one thing I love about having him. On top of the millions of other reasons.

My phone rang and I jumped. Fuck. If this is Dylan I will break down.

I slowly grabbed it to see Matt's name flash across the screen.

Thank God.

I answered the facetime and his face popped up and I could see he was still in the studio.

"Alyciaaaa." "Hi Matt." "Hey are you okay?" He said as his face completely changed. "Yeah. I'm good. What's up?" "Are you busy? Sorry, I went a little over time and lost track of time. Are you still down to come over to the studio?"

I need a distraction and some peace more than anything right now.

"Yes. Very much so." "Wonderful. I have a friend here who would like to stay and help us write if that's okay." "Uhm...yeah. Yeah that's fine. Who?"

He turned the camera and I knew that face too well.

"Hi Alycia." He said with a little wave and a smile. "Hi Harry." I said with a little chuckle. "Uhm...I'm gonna feed Jasper and then i'll head there. I just stopped working on a song so maybe we can work on that one." "Yesss a new song. Alright we can't wait to hear it. See you in a bit." "Alright see you in a bit. Bye."

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I look like shit and i'm about to go sing this fucked up song in front of someone I barely know.

He definitely will steer clear of me after this.

Which is exactly how it should be.

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