Winter In Training(ON HIATUS)

Chapter Eleven

Over the next couple of days, it was rough. I would not come out of my room. Pietro was my best friend and now, he was gone. Forever. I didn't stop thinking of Pietro. Even seeing Lila and Cooper made me think of Pietro and would send me into tears again. The only person that I had seen was Laura. She would comfort me every single day, allowing me to cry over Pietro.

"Honey, I'm home" I heard Clint say as he walked in. I heard his kids run to him and that just made me cry even harder. I would never be able to hug Pietro again and tell him how much I love him. How much he means to me. "Where's Ava?" I heard Clint ask which made tears come to my eyes. He is probably going to make me leave. Go somewhere else.

The door opened to reveal Clint. I stood there, looking at him with tear-filled eyes. I did not feel the energy to get up to go to him. But then a familiar brunette poked her head into the room.

"Ava?" Wanda said and although everything hurt, I launched myself at my sister and fell into her arms crying. I may not have Pietro but at least I have her. Wanda kissed me on the top of my head and fell to her knees with me in her arms.

"He was supposed to be there for me forever. He was supposed to watch me walk down the aisle, whether that was with a woman or a man. Why did this have to happen, Wanda?" I cried, sobbing into her shoulder. She held me close, taking deep shaky breaths. I looked up at her and truly saw how in pain she was. She had lost her twin and her best friend in one day.

"I know, Ava. It's going to be okay. You will be okay. We both will. Pietro wouldn't want you to be all cooped up like this. He would want us to be laughing and telling stories about his stupidity," Wanda said, making me give her a weak smile. "Oh. Before I left, I grabbed your little diary that you wrote in all the time when you were younger. I thought that you would want to see it" she said and I smiled, grabbing the diary from her hands and beginning to read it.

Dear Diary,

12 September 2010

Today has been a really rough day. I woke up from a dream about my parents mixed in with a nightmare. The nightmare was about Pietro and Wanda dying at my hands. It really unnerved me to think about these two people dying because of me. They may not be my biological siblings but they care for me and protect me. They keep an eye on me and I love them for it.

So after my dream/nightmare, I trained for a really long time today. Strucker wanted me to improve on my abilities. I'm almost as good as Wanda now. Maybe, I can start to go on missions with her and Pietro. Maybe I can do something other than train, eat and sleep.

Something weird happened, though. One of Strucker's men called me Baby Soldier and I don't know what they meant by that. It was like a Hydra inside joke that not even Pietro or Wanda knew about.

Today was especially rough because it is my ninth birthday. I was supposed to be spending the day with my family, having fun and getting presents from them and family members. I was supposed to be celebrating with a bunch of my friends but instead, I was training to kill people from whom Hydra needed information. I have spent all my free time, which we don't get a lot of, mourning the loss of a normal childhood.

I don't know what else to say to you, Diary, other than thank you for letting me write in you. Some days, it is really rough and I don't know who to talk to about it. Wanda and Pietro are nice but they don't really understand what I am going through. They have each other but when Strucker killed my parents, I lost every part of my family. Wanda and Pietro are my family now but I still miss my mom and dad sometimes.

Love,

Ava Barnes

Tears flooded my eyes as I read my words. I smiled as I thought about how alone I had felt during my first year with Hydra. But then I had fully accepted Wanda and Pietro as my family and I wasn't so lonely anymore. I looked at Wanda.

"Wanda, I love you" I said, smiling at my sister. Before Wanda could say anything else, Lila came running into the room and launched herself at me. A sad laugh came from my throat and Lila smiled at me.

"Oh, sissy. I am so proud you are talking again. I have missed your voice" she said, squeezing me tight. She looked over my shoulder at Wanda and smiled at her too.

"And who might this be?" Wanda asked, a smirk on her lips.

"My name is Lila Barton. You must be Wanda, Ava's sister. She's pretty cool, isn't she?" Lila said, hugging me and Wanda chuckled, nodding at the small girl.

"She is pretty cool" Wanda said, smiling at both Lila and myself. But then she frowned, tears entering her eyes. "Ms. Lila, can you leave the room for a quick second. I have to talk to Ava privately for a moment" she asked and Lila nodded, waving goodbye to Wanda as she skipped out of the room.

"What's wrong, Wanda?" I asked, beginning to worry about Wanda.

"I met someone, Aves. His name's Vision. He saved me from Sokovia. You don't understand what it felt like to sense Pietro's death. I just completely froze. He saved me and I began to fall for him" she said and I frowned, tears coming to my eyes.

"Are you fucking kidding me? If you don't remember, I can sense when people are going to die. Pietro came to my dreams. He told me that he died. What do you mean that I wouldn't understand what it was like" I asked Wanda and her next words made me freeze.
"He wasn't your brother!" she yelled and I gasped, absolutely speechless. Wanda looked at me and seemed to understand what she said. "Ava, that's not what I meant" she added but I just shook my head at her.
"You know what? I think that that is exactly what you meant to say. You both were the only siblings I have ever known and I thought that you guys thought of me the same way. I was actually just reading one of my entries and I said that I was lonely because you and Pietro had each other and I only had myself. I thought that I was being silly but maybe I wasn't. Maybe I am just a silly girl for believing that I could be anything other than a lonely girl. Maybe this is what I deserve, right" I said, tears flooding my eyes. "I'm a horrible person, Wanda and I don't deserve anything other than to be lonely for the rest of my life" I added, a choked sob leaving my lips. Wanda reached for me but I shook my head, turning away from her.
"You shouldn't be this upset, Ava. Okay. You didn't have to fight in the fight against Ultron. Okay. And by the way, I'm glad that you didn't okay. Someone else would have died if you were there" she said, under her breath but I still heard it. The tears that were gathering in my eyes began to spill.

"I only stayed back because Clint told me to," I said and before she could say anything else, I used my magic to push her out of the room. Once she was out of the room, I shut the door and locked it. The minute that the door was locked, I began to cry. Every part of me broke. I curled up on the bed and just let out all of my anger and sadness. Wanda was supposed to be there for me, no matter what and now, she is acting like I was the enemy. I just couldn't believe her. I allowed for sleep to take over.

I woke up the next day in a better mood. I wanted to apologize to Wanda for my part in our fight. I left the room and saw Clint and Wanda sitting on the couch. At the sound of my door opening, they both turned their heads in my direction.

"Ava, I am so so sorry for how yesterday transpired. It was not my intention at all. But I have to tell you something. Ava, remember how I said yesterday that I met someone. Well, he wants me to move into Avengers tower with him and I said yes. But Ava, I want you to come with me. I want you to be with me" she said and my jaw dropped.