Remembering. (LIAM STEWART x OC)

Chapter 13

I know I haven't updated in forever and I'm sorry.

GENS POV

"You have a lot of shit to explain, so start." Chubs says to me as we sit down in the upstairs of Liams old house.

"This is vida, and Jude. We are all in the children's league." I say to him first. I see him hold onto his knife and he looks at them cautiously. I understand how he feels, I feel it everyday.

"Ok..." he says.

"Remember when we left the camp? well when I woke up I asked them to free Liam. They told me they couldn't so I bargained. I told them I would help them out, only if they didn't bother you guys and let him go. She agreed to those conditions. She didn't understand why Liam would leave without me, and that's where things go tricky.

"I told her to leave it to me...I went to see him. We talked and he started talking about what life would be like if everything didn't happen, and I didn't think I could do it. I leaned in to..kiss him... and he knew what I was doing. He was angry, really angry. We fought over it and he made me promise him I wouldn't take his memory. I broke that promise, but for a good reason.

"He said he wanted to dance with me, so we did. And at the end of the dance I took all his memory's and said goodbye. Of course he doesn't know it, but i did. I told him to forget all about me and to be happy and find you and Zu and be safe." I tell chubs. He looks so hurt on the inside and I know I've done a lot of damage.

"But why? Why did you have to make him forget you. Why couldn't you just make him leave?" He asks me.

"It's not that simple." I say. He nods.

"So where is liam? Did he not find you?" I ask.

"Oh no, he did. But we got caught and I told him to run. I tried looking for him for days and there has been no luck. I came here and if he wasn't here, I'm going to look for this tribe of blues. I want to see if he joined them. You know Lee, always trying to make friends." Chubs says with a laugh.

"Ok enough with the chit chat, where are we going to stay?" Vida cuts in.

"Sorry vida. We can stay here for the night and then head out to find that group of blues." I say and chubs nods in agreement.

"You and Jude can have that room over there and I can share with chubs." I say. Vida leaves the room and Jude follows after her.

"She has some attitude." Chubs says and I hurts out laughing. "That's her!" I say. He shakes his head at me.

"How have you been?" He asks me all serious. I sigh. "I don't know. I've been ok." I lie to him.

"I know when your lying." He says to me. "Just like I knew that one time at the house that you were lying. You were trying to kill yourself. Liam and Zu may have believed you but I didn't. Now. How have you been?" He asks again.

"You knew?" I ask him and he nods. "That wasn't the last time it happened. I tried at the league. I'm surprised they even let me go on the mission to get out." I say to him.

"That's what you need to know. You can't come back with us and I can't go back with you. I have to get a flash drive off of Liam and then take it back to the league. I can't stay and Liam can't get his memory's back." I say.

"Wait what?" He asks. "I thought you were coming back!" He raises his voice. I shush him but he waves me off. "No, don't tell me to shush." He says

"Listen to me! I don't want to go back, but I have too. I can't just not go back. I have people there that need me." I tell him. 

"You have people here that need you. Did you forget about the promise you made to Zu?" He asks. "The one where you would go and find her?" He adds.

"Look. I have other things I have to do now. I never forgot about any of you. I regret my decision everyday. But it saved your life and probably liams. Now if your just gonna argue with me then I can leave." I say to him.

"No. But just so you know you didn't save liam when you took him memory. You saved him when you walked into his life and killed him when you walked out. He wasn't the same. He was confused on a lot of things." He says to me.

I roll my eyes and turn over. I can't deal with this yet. I already know that it's gonna be hard to leave Liam. I hope he is ok. "Why...why did you leave us behind?" I hear chubs ask me.

I turn to face him. "Because all I have ever brought you is pain, don't act like that's not true because it is." I say. "You may have helped me more than you will ever know but all I ever brought to you guys was danger. You saved me while I was slowly killing you." I say.

"I'm like a disease. If it stays in you for too long the more dangerous the risk of it is." I feel tears streaming down my face and chubs face falls immediately. He didn't expect that answer whatsoever, and it shows.

"I loved you all, more than I can tell you, but I couldn't keep hurting you. I couldn't let you take a bullet for me, for once it was my turn." I say. He looks down and just nods.

"I'm gonna change your mind. I'm gonna get you back." He tells me. I'm about to say something when he interrupts me.

"You saved all of us. Liam was happier with you, Zu too. And then alone being happy made me happy. I didn't like the thought of you at first but you grew on me and became one of my closest friends." He says. His eyes are glassy but no tears fall. He tried so hard to keep it together.

"Please...I don't want to lose you again..." he whispers brokenly. I sigh and hug him. We cry into each other's arms and just accept each other's embrace.

After a while he pulls away and lays down but I can't fall asleep. I toss and turn until I can't stand it anymore. "Hey, chubs!" I whisper yell. He wakes up.

"I'm gonna go on watch duty with vida and Jude, I can't sleep." I tell him. He looks at me cautiously like he is scared I'm trying to leave. "I'm staying, don't worry." I say to him.

I go outside and I see Jude and vida talking. They look like they are arguing when I walk up and I can confirm it when I get closer. "Jude, no. We can't just leave and get food. And we can't take his." I hear vida saying.

"We haven't eaten in a full day, I'm starving." He whines.

"Jude! Me and vida already have a lot on our plate and we don't need you adding to it!" I yell at him. I didn't mean to be rude but I can't have him messing this mission up.

His eyes glass over and he goes back into the house. I let out a sigh. "Hey" I say to vida and she doesn't answer. "Ok don't have to be rude." I say.

"Are you going back with them?" She asks me.

"Omg why does everyone think I'm going to leave with them! I'm staying with you!" I yell at her. She rolls her eyes.

"Everyone always leaves. So why don't you?" She asks me. I move closer to her and pull her into a hug. She tries to move away but I don't let her. "I'm not going anywhere vida. You guys are apart of my family now." I say.

"My life is like a book and they were a few chapters in it. They aren't meant to be the whole book." I say. She turns to me.

"But they could be in your ending. You know there are some people who last the whole book, like the main character." She tells me.

"The main character doesn't always make it to the end, but when they do make it to the end, they aren't always alone. You don't have to be like that either. Allow people to be in the end of your book. So if you want them in your life, let them." She tells me.

"I'm not leaving you. I want Liam and chubs to be in my end. I want them to be in my life. But they can't. They are already gone in my 'book'." I tell vida.

"Yea, that may be true but even characters that are assumed to not come back, come back." She says and with that she stands up and leaves me with my thoughts.

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Ok, I haven't edited this so I'm sorry, and I'm so sorry it took so long to get it out. I've been working on another book that I've been into so I will try and update this one too!