Remembering. (LIAM STEWART x OC)

Chapter 11

Song is run boy run by the woodkid
(This has sensitive content in it so TW!)
GENS POV

When I wake up I guess I've just gotten used to what they do to me. It doesn't hurt and I sit up with ease. I hear voices in the hall and I have to strain to hear them.

"-your pet under control. We leave tomorrow with or without her. If she is stable she can go, but if not and you send her, it's not my fault if she does it again." I hear Rob.

Pet.

That's what I am to him. A pet. Something you must control. Something you must tame.

"She will be fine. Let me talk to her." I hear Cole. As soon as robs footsteps are out of earshot Cole walks in. He starts pacing and I don't think he knows I'm awake. When he turns towards me he is shaking. Not from anger, but sadness.

He rushes to me and hugs me. "What the hell kid?" He asks. I shrug when he pulls back. "You know what could've happened to you? Do you know what would happen to us? Jude, v, cate, me? Liam?!" He starts to raise his voice at me.

I don't answer. I just look down. He doesn't know the full extent of everything. He knows I have struggles with stuff here and there but I never told him about what happened at the house with Liam and chubs, I never told him about any of it.

"You meant to...didn't you." He says. I look up with a dumbfounded face. "Wow, way to solve the mystery Sherlock." I say in a bored tone and he gets angry.

"Y-you...why? Why!" He yells. I shrink back.

"What do you think? Why would someone want to jump off of a building?!" As soon as I say those words I regret it. He goes pale.

"Why didn't you tell me? You were just gonna do it with no warning? No goodbyes, no notes? Nothing?" He sounds so broken, so hurt. I didn't want to cause anyone pain, I just wanted to be out of pain myself. It's so hard going around acting like you didn't when your so far from it and so far from being it.

"I was hurting, I didn't expect to be then, it just..came as an opportunity. I didn't only do it for me. I thought if I wasn't there for team leader vida and Jude wouldn't be able to go on the mission. I only want to keep him safe." I explain to him. He sighed.

"They still have to go, and so can you. If your up for it, they are giving you the chance to go." He tells me but I can tell he doesn't want me to go. I know I wouldn't if he had just tried something like that.

"I wan- I have to. I'm going. I can have vida and Jude help me pack. Can you go get them?" When he doesn't move I add, "I swear I won't do anything. I need to get Liam." I say and that seems to get to his brain.

We go over the mission for about a half hour. He leaves my temporary room and gets vida and Jude. When they walk in I can tell it's like they are walking on egg shells around me. Like I'm a ticking time bomb.

"Hey." Vida starts off. I can tell they have both been crying and I can see the bags under their eyes. "Hi." I try to say back as cheerful as I can, but still sounding like me.

I stand up and speed walk over to Jude. I hug him tightly. He slumps against me like he's been waiting for me to hug him. "W-why?" He asks. I can tell what I've done will make him scared for a while. I didn't mean for it to be like that. I just wanted to save him.

"I'm sorry." I whisper brokenly into his curly hair. I hold my arms out for a shaking vida. She runs to us and hugs us tightly. I've never seen vida like this and I don't think I ever will again. She always has her shit together, but right now she doesn't seem to have a care in the world about it.