O N E H U N D R E D A N D T H I R T Y S I X | One To Ten

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Dear the boy with exams next week (well this week now),

I feel like most teachers are like that though. One day they will give a really good lesson, and then the next could be so boring you fall asleep. I think it comes down to the topic, really. Like if you find the topic you are learning interesting then the lessons are going to be more exciting but if you couldn't care less about the topic, then you wouldn't care less about the lessons.

I dunno how things work at Hogwarts, but it could be a case of Hagrid just following the curriculum and moving from topic to topic, or in his case, creature to creature.

Yes, I agree with you completely. My first exam is tomorrow morning, and then I have one in the afternoon also. I have my first maths paper, and I have my first science paper in the afternoon. I'm so scared, I feel physically sick all the time. Everyone here has been so kind to me though, and they keep telling me the sweetest encouraging things. Snuffles even helps me revise. Even though he never did Muggle education he's very smart. (I think secretly he's been studying some of the harder parts so he understands it and can help me.)

Remus has been very helpful with English revision, he knows a lot about books. I want to visit his home so I can see his personal collection because Snuffles told me he used to be an avid reader. Apparently it used to get on your dads nerves because Remus would always have his nose in a book and not pay attention to your father.

Sometimes I think Slytherins act the way they do because of what everyone perceives them to be.

Hopefully when the new Quiddich season starts next year, you will be apart of it. After all, the she-devil can't really ban you for life.

One thing I've learned about you since knowing you Harry, is that you can be rather wise sometimes. I'm glad you've come to the conclusion that talking helps, because it really does.

It's easy to say things like that; that you wish you would have opened up more when you were growing up, but the point remains is that you're doing it now. You learn from mistakes, and now you feel comfortable to talk more about your problems. It's good that you realised you don't have to do this all alone.

I'm glad I have you, and I think you already know that I know I can talk to you. I'm always talking your ear off.

I know the Order are prepared. I know some of them fought in the first war, but I still feel scared. Like after all of this effort to stop Voldemort, will it really be enough?

I suppose in the end, it doesn't matter what happens. We just need to do our all to get rid of him, and then we can at least say we tried. We have to try. I mean I've heard he has a LOT of followers, so it's going to be hard, and scary but if we fight then we know we did our best.

I don't know how to explain myself. I've thought about the war a lot, and honestly I can't say if we will loose or not. I pray to Merlin that we win, but I'm no Seer. No one knows how this will turn out but we just have to try don't we? We won't get anywhere without trying. I just wish that trying didn't come with the risk of loosing all of you.

Please stop apologising. Even if we never met, even if you never had that nightmare, we would have still be brought into the war. Look at all the Muggle kidnappings and killings that have been going on since Voldemorts rise. He wants the downfall of Muggles just as much as he craves the downfall of Wizards. We wouldn't have been truly safe regardless, so you have no reason to be sorry. If anything we are better prepared and protected this way.

I had to bribe Josh with more chocolate Frogs for him to do his homework, but at least it's completed now.

How was your Charms exam? I normally hate talking about exams after I've had them, so how about we do a scale. You give me a number from 1 to 10 to let me know how you've done. If it's anything below 5, then we don't mention it again, but if it's 5 or above then it's safe to talk about. How does that sound? You can do the same for me too. That way we both know when the other is comfortable talking about their exams, because there is nothing worse than talking to someone about an exam when you think you've done shit.

I have full faith in you though but remember no matter what your score is, it's just a number and you did great regardless.

Love,

the girl who is afraid.

(I'm currently writing the last few chapters and you lot are so not ready. I don't even think I'm ready.)

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