savior complex - kth

042

"What the fuck are you doing down here?"

I stepped away from the artwork and more towards Taehyung as he furiously made his way to me. I didn't even try to hide the paper in my hand because he caught me reading it and without me answer he spoke again.

"I said what the fuck are you doing down here?" When his words finished coming out he had reached me and his hand grabbed the paper, pulling it. My grip on it was good and the paper ripped but he didn't seem to mind just tossing it behind him.

The look on his face made me a little worried because I had never seen him this angry, so I answered. "Jungkook is sick."

"Yeah. I know. What are you fucking doing down here?" I was hoping Jungkook was still heavily asleep so he wouldn't make this situation worse. Taehyung raising his voice at me wasn't helping that, though.

"He was throwing up upstairs and I needed to bring him somewhere he could sleep." I spoke honestly.

Standing my ground in front of Taehyung was hard, he was so intimidating and always knew how to avoid the points or questions I was saying. "Why here? Take him to someones fucking room. You know so many people that fucking live here."

"I just thought it'd be the best bet because no one would come down-"

"Did you also think it was a good idea to snoop through my stuff?" Now his hands went up to his hair and his teeth were clenched together, it being revealed to me by his jaw being more defined than ever. "You don't seem to think."

"No I think too much." I said, getting angry back at him. "I thought you were at least a little kind enough to see that Jungkook needed somewhere to go-"

He cut me off once again. This time almost rolling his eyes like he couldn't believe what I was saying. "There's so many rooms in this house! God damn it Josie." He paused for a split second, his mind coming up with what to say next but it seemed he let the words slip out anyways. "I know you have this idea that everyone likes you, that everyones lives are better with you in it...this savior complex. But you haven't changed any part of mine., definitely not saved it. You aren't going to save me, you aren't going to change me or any part of how I live. Why can't you fucking let it go? Just play this savior for Jungkook and leave me out of it."

Now I stepped towards him even closer and we were face to face, this time different from the other times we were this close. I didn't want to cry with these harsh words he was spitting at me. "You are the one who brought me into your life! You are the one that showed me how pitiful things are for you, how you don't believe in love, how no girl could ever make you want to share a coke with her or whatever else. You are the one that made me meet your family, told me about your parents, showed me this fucking place. There's no reason for you to take this out on me and everyone you know. God needs to watch over the girl that you're in love with, or that you seem to think you're in love with. You don't ever seem to know what you want, it must be tiring. Right? Acting like you care about someone just because you're lonely and then taking it back when it gets too far for you. I hope you don't change your mind on this girl. I hope you don't wake up one day deciding you don't love her anymore, that you hate her like you do me. I don't know what I did to deserve all this fucked up shit, these fights, these attacks, but god I hope you don't do it to anyone else."

I looked away from him to avoid the malicious comment he was going to make to me, realizing I should leave before he gets to lay it on me back. When I walked by my shoulder pushed into his arm but he only moved a little. Once I was past him I felt his hand grab my arm and I turned around, his grip wasn't strong at all it just appeared he wanted my attention again.

When no words came out I couldn't help but laugh, the same way he always did when I was upset, but now I finally got it. "You know what? I really must not know how to think. I'm done thinking this would go anywhere, call it wishful thinking, seeing the best in people, a fucking savior complex but I'm so done having any of it be towards you. I hope this is what you wanted, disappointment and fucks all from someone who cares about you for once."

I could tell this really set him off by his cheeks turning pink, his lips being pulled in between his teeth. I hated this look on his face because he looked upset, the way he looked when he felt regretful and I refused to let him get to me this time or to gain any of sympathy when clearly he doesn't want it. This was it.

I pulled away from him and walked to Jungkook, helping him up so we could leave this place that we should have never come to. Taehyung didn't say anything and I didn't turn around to see him watch me leave.