savior complex - kth

047

Josie's POV

"The shirt smells exactly like Taehyung." I said to Stella who was sitting on the couch in the living room of my loft. Two plates containing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich matched with mixed fruit were in my hands, I was carrying them over so we could watch a movie. "I know that sounds crazy. But it does."

"Why would he lie though?" She asked, grabbing one of the plates from my hands.

The plan today was to rent bikes and ride around the city and tour some museums, I told her it was on me to pay her back for being so good to Jungkook. It was also sort of an apology for how I treated her at the party, it still weighed over my head. But once we sat down on the couch to chill for a second we realized we should just stay here. We could find a movie to rent and also put pieces together from last night.

"I don't know! That's why I'm so confused. I'm going to annoy Namjoon about it at school Monday." I picked up my sandwhich and watched Stella peel the crust off of hers, making me giggle.

She hummed out a little sound. "I didn't see either of them but then again, I don't remember anyone that I saw."

I laughed and took another bite out of my sandwich.

Stella spoke again. "I'll mention it to Taehyung next time he's at work."

I said a small thank you and picked up the remote.

"I called Jungkook so many times during all that. I feel bad." She said.

"Oh my god, don't. I always call him a bunch of times because he is just bad at answering." I laughed and picked up some fruit between my fingers. "As long as you didn't cry he doesn't care."

"Does he not like crying?" Stella asked.

Confusing, considering they were seeing each other. Not that she seemed like a cryer but I felt like maybe they would have talked about something emotional with each other by now. "Um, you know he's like the most patient person alive. But I think he just doesn't know how to react."

"Do you ever cry in front of him?"

I tilted my head down at her. He is my best friend who I've known before I could remember. "Of course I have. He's had to deal with so much shit with me. He's never really dated so he had nothing to gossip with me about. He's like a giant ear to me." I stopped, realizing how fucked up that sounded. "I just mean I can be talking about nothing and he is so interested-"

"I know what you mean." She gave me a little smile. "Sometimes I feel like I'm annoying him with all the stuff I talk about."

"You're not!!!" I said almost instantly, I felt bad having to give her this reassurance. I'm sure not knowing Jungkook he seems intimidating, he has tattoos all over, he is muscular and tall, and has no temper. He seems unaffected by anything, but I know that's not the case. "He's just good at not reacting. I think nothing you say can shock him."

I looked down at her plate and realized she had only taken one bite of her sandwich and none of the fruit was touched. Maybe Jungkook hadn't returned her calls, I felt bad for continuing to talk about him. "Are you okay?"

She didn't say anything for a second, but when she did she said it with not too much emotion. "He's so in love with you, Josie. And you don't even know."

A disapproving look appeared on my face, I don't know if it was out of shock of her saying this or that she believed this. "No he's not, Stel. We are just really close."

She knew the weight of her words because she kept pausing after I said something, giving her time to put her words together. She wanted this conversation to go light hearted, I could tell by the smile she wore. "I have been in love before, I've been in relationships, I've had good friendships but never in my life has someone cared about me to the extent he cares about you."

I didn't even know what to say. I felt so sorry that she felt this way, sorry if Jungkook made it appear that way to her. Never had it crossed my mind Jungkook was in love with me or me with him. We knew too much about each other to ever feel that way.

"The first time I ever told Taehyung I was starting to like Jungkook, he told me that JK was in love with you. I thought that was Taehyung just being insecure and jealous of the friendship so I didn't care. But what am I suppose to do when we are together and all he talks about you, when he's feeling weak all he wants to do is be around you, when drawing is his life and all he draws is still you." She wasn't crying or tearing up, but I could tell she was feeling everything she was saying to me. "He needs you. You're all that he sees."

I scooted closer to her and my hand found her knee, giving her a little support squeeze. I don't know where all of this was coming from, last night calling him must have made her so upset. "If he knew you felt this way he would be so upset. You should tell him you feel like he puts me before you and it makes you upset."

"I don't even know if he knows completely. Just like you don't see it. You talk about Taehyung a lot, while he still talks about you." She looked down at the table and her eyes landed on my phone. She pressed the screen to light it up and it showed I had a message from Jungkook. "He still hasn't responded to my calls."

"He checks up with me when we are away so I know he is okay. If he didn't I would never let him do anything alone. Jungkook really tells me everything, if there were any feelings there it would have been spoken about forever ago." I tried to make her understand it wasn't the case. I didn't know what else I could say, am I suppose to call my family and have them be my witness for how close we were. That he was the extra brother, the lost Franciscus.

This was coming from such a genuine place, and stella was one of the kindest people I had ever met. I couldn't help but wonder how long she has thought about this...and how deep she has really thought about this. Is Jungkook really in love with me?

I physically shook my head, there is no possible way.

She finally picked up her sandwich and took a bite, when she swallowed is when she spoke again. "I care about him so much. Like too much. All I do is sit around and hope he gets over it but it gets really hard sometimes."

I felt responsible for making Stella feel unappreciated like she was. Her and Jungkook always seemed happy and giggly together, but I guess that was mostly her. "Please talk to him. He will listen."

Her hand found mine on her knee and she leaned over to me. "I mean, I would be in love with you, too." She smiled at me and this time it seemed genuine, her fake nail sticking into a piece of pineapple and it going up her mouth. "I'll talk to him."

Like clockwork, a little after we settled on a movie I saw her phone light up, Jungkook's name was on it. He was finally calling her back and she grabbed her phone, swiping to answer and I sat back on the couch trying to think about why she was thinking like this.