savior complex - kth

043

Taehyung's POV

Boring. Boring. Boring.

Everyone who wasn't her was boring.

This room was so excruciatingly boring without her.

I stared up at my ceiling with my arms behind my head. I had started drinking before the party had even started. There was no reason for me to be sober at this party that didn't have her.

She could be here. Even in this room with me.

But I chose for her not to be.

'I'm in love with someone else' is what came out. Words I wanted to swallow as soon as I said them. They appeared like throw up. Too quickly and without a warning.

I wasn't in love with someone else.

Jungkook's sick. He could have died. It's not fair for me to be interfering and making her life worse. It was fun once but it no longer could be. This was real life.

Whatever I thought I had planned for us...for her...whatever was going on in my head whenever this first happened I can't let it go on anymore.

This all became too much. She knows more of me than anyone will ever know. I know more about her than I ever intended to know. It makes me sick thinking how entangled we are together.

This was never the plan.

What happened with Jungkook changed it all. Haunting every idea and every fucked up motive I had to begin with. I can't do that to her. I can't keep doing that to her and getting closer to her.

I can't let things end bad for her.

Nothing ever ends well. I know this.

I sat up trying to get out of my self made misery. Grabbing the liquor that was sitting on my bedside table to take a swig. I licked my lips and set it back down. I got a sweatshirt before making my way to this stupid party downstairs.

"Tae! Finally coming out!" Said a girl I have never seen in my life...sober at least.

I looked away from her and squinted my eyes. It was so fucking ridiculous someone would think I would entertain them just because I live here.

My housemate Johnny walked past me up the stairs and attempted to grab the liquor out of my hand but I shoved him off. A snarky remark was made but I blocked it out.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs I headed for the living room. I was going to make my rounds and grab other types of drinks so I could hide away again. Play my jazz and hopefully pass the fuck out.

"Tae!" Andie said. It made me sick seeing her. Not too long ago I would have talked to her and let her suck my dick or something. But now she just reminded me of how much regular people lack.

She was holding some fruity drink in her hand and I pulled it out. Taking a big drink of it but I didn't stop to give it back. I finished the rest accidentally. Actually not accidentally.

"You're fucking drunk." She said and ripped the glass from my hand. "I don't want you around me when I'm drunk."

I laughed. "I don't want you around me ever."

She looked at me like I had just slapped her. I thought maybe she might slap me. But she turned away and grabbed some girls arm. Whispering something.

Something about me.

I could give a fuck less what her plain ass friends think.

It's incredible how girls think just because they dye their hair a crazy color and do their makeup crazy they are so cool and interesting.