savior complex - kth

054

I woke up to my phone going off, the awful alarm noice ringing until I turned it off. I was facing away from where Taehyung was sleeping but when I turned back around he wasn't there, his notebook gone as well.

I pushed my hair off my face trying not to be so sleepy, the sun was coming up though so it was time for me to get home so I could shower before class. I went to my pile of clothes and switched back so I didn't have to bring Taehyung's clothes home. I don't even know where he is, and if he already left I wouldn't be surprised because he is the way he is. Even if he said he would change I don't know what to believe yet.

I folded his clothes then pushed the door open and I heard Beauty and The Beast playing. Since Jamie was here that meant that someone was here with her, at least. There was no one in the kitchen, but getting closer to the living room I saw Taehyung's head turn around and look at me.

"Hey sleepy head." He said then turned back to the tv.

I walked fully into the room and noticed a bunch of wrappers and bags laid out on the floor, where the coffee table had once been.

Jamie reached out her hand to me, in it was a hash brown from McDonalds. All the bags and wrappers had McDonalds logos as well. "Try this." Her little voice said, her 'r' sounding like a 'w'.

"I'm okay." I smiled at her. I then looked at Taehyung wondering why he was just sitting around, I guess he had to watch Jamie today. "I have to go, I have class in an hour."

He stood up from the couch and picked up Jamie with him, whispering something into her ear before setting her down. He pushed her back a little and she ran to the other bedroom in this apartment. "And tell mommy there's food out here, she'll get up." He turned back to me when she was almost at the door. "Then let's go."

He reached down on the ground and picked up something circular and then grabbed some keys, sliding them in his pocket as he caught up to me. "Eat this, Josie."

"I'm really okay."

We exited the door and he shut it, locking it after and began to open the wrapper as we headed down the stairs. "Suit yourself."

I watched him unwrap a sausage biscuit, but when he took a bit like half of it went into his mouth. Everything about him was large, but in a perfect way. His body was tall, his shoulders were wide, his feet and hands were ginormous, now I'm seeing how wide he can stretch his mouth.

"I wasn't allowed to eat McDonalds as a kid. Once I moved in with my sister and we cut back on everything we ate mostly McDonalds and Taco Bell. I fucking love both of those places now." He was rambling on to me, and I was listening. It was so weird to think of your parents not allowing you to do something, my parents would let us try anything we wanted and if the consequences were bad then they knew we'd just never do it again. "Do you not like it or something?"

I shook my head instantly, looking up from the ground where I was watching my feet take one step at a time. "No I do, I love their burgers. I just wasn't hungry this morning."

"Ah, okay." He said, and when I finally looked away from him I felt his hand slip into mine. I thought I had stopped breathing, now forcing myself to do so. His fingers were locked in with mine so I reciprocated. His other hand pointed up towards a building that we were walking up on, almost as old and rusty as his. "My best friend lived there. His name was Justin, we always skateboarded together and drank and smoked. We used to smoke like a pack a day."

This threw me off guard but I didn't want to show it. "Are you guys still friends now?"

He shook his head and his arm fell so we could keep walking, the sun now fully up and shining bright. "We got in a fight when I told him I was going to university. NYU specifically, we always shit on the kids that went there. I think he thought he'd beat the drive out of me or something."

I looked at him after he said the word beat, I didn't see any sort of emotion on his face.  "So you stopped being friends?"

"It went from us terrorizing the streets and stealing things like alcohol or food to him beating up and almost killing people who looked at him the wrong way and doing more than the drugs I'd want to do at 17." He squeezed my hand but I don't think he realized he had.

"I'm proud of you for where you are now, Taehyung."

He looked at me now and smiled. My heart feeling so soft it could melt seeing him be sweet to me, him opening up about something possibly hurtful to him.

"No one's said that to me before." His voice was quieter now and he still wore a smile.

"No one knows all this about you." I said back.

His head tilted to the side like I made a point. "It's easier that way. I only have 2 more years I can keep it up."

"They're your friends though." I said.

Yeah, but-" He stopped what he was saying, a group of boys and girls were coming up on our right all crowded around a bench. His hand let go of mine and when he reached them he grabbed one of their shoulders, his voice going even deeper. "I know you aren't doing cocaine on the side of the road this early, Harold."

The guy turned around quickly and everyone else looked up, one of the guys who had a key up to his nose. His face instantly relaxed when his eyes met Taehyung's and he immediately stuck his hand out to bro hug him. "Bro, you had me so mad for a second."

Taehyung gave him the half hug/half chest bump back and laughed, I stood to the side and he leaned his head towards me. "This is Josie."

His friend Harold nodded and a few of the guys along with one of the girls nodded. "I see your still pulling the hot girls, even at your preppy school."

Taehyung shook his head, and half pushed his shoulder. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood."

"Do you want some of this?" A guy holding a bag of white powder said to Taehyung.

"No, man. I'm about to head back to school." Taehyung answered.

"Damn, you have changed." Harold said but with a smile. "I'm glad, bro. Don't get too clean cut out there."

Taehyung reached back to me with his hand open, signaling me to take it so I did. "I'm not. You guys stop staying up until the sun rises...maybe sleep for once."

The guy laughed and Taehyung started walking away, Harold yelling back. "I'll see you around cop."

Taehyung's other hand reached back and flicked him off, I heard laughs coming from behind us that faded once we walked further enough away.

I was glad to see Taehyung had memories from here that weren't all bad, that he had people who did care about him even if he felt no one did. I also hoped this version of him, changed or not, stayed around me forever.