'Till forever h.s.

take it off (27) *

You're a freak like me, can't you see
We can work this something out
And I'm believing
You get off of me, it's like cheating

~~~TiO by Zayn~~~

Before you read this there are two things I want to point out.

1. MAJOR SEXUAL CONTENT. So if you're not the spice type please skip this chapter to the very end.

2. Something I should've said already but lol. English is NOT my first language and I've never had an experience like what i'm writing about. I've done my research but I still apologize if something is inaccurate or cringy.

LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR. you've been warned 😏

~~~~~~

If there's something you must know about Harry and Davina is that they weren't that different. They found in each other a distorted version of their own selves. For Harry a light to look up to, and for Davina a solid place to lean against. In the most indescribable and weird way, they understood each other more than their own selves.
But that's a story for another day because today, they fit very differently.

Davina's POV

I've always been told that my urge to see the light would end up leaving me in the dark.That it could lead to amazing highs but in the end I'd always end up at rock bottom for it. It's something I couldn't help, the wanting for clarity was something that always came from deep inside my bones mostly because I could never find it within myself. Though, I've always had a pull for the darker side of things, throughout my whole entire life I've been eager to do the wrong and dangerous because it's what's supposed to make you feel alive. But the flip side of such things was the fact that while doing the wrong and dangerous, I still hoped to find good within all bad. I hoped that after walking through the hurricane I'd finally find calm when reaching the center.
I've convinced myself that by staying in the dark, light would find me. But that's not how it works. The dark consumes you until you become a part of it, it attracts you in a way nothing has ever done before, more than light ever could. It's a dangerous path to take, but leaves an unimaginable thrill to your very soul. No more joyous smiles or cynical make-believe games of happiness. Just pure, real enjoyment of life at its very best moments. The highs.

You see, I need to be pretty and funny and smart, but also have quiet opinions and make meaningful art. I've told myself I rather be messy and wild and memorable, lose my mind entirely. I try so hard to be that person. The one who doesn't care, who takes life as it comes and makes the best of the shit world we live in. The person who is just full of greed for the highs and who rather have what they want than what they need.

But I'm not. Because deep down it always comes back to the light. It comes back to forgiveness and love, to brushing over situations for the sake of others. And I always get hurt. This is just another perfect example of it.

I was still in my room and it's been four days now. Zayn has been kind enough to bring me food though he tried to coax me into going downstairs and for the first time in forever I kinda wish he'd just leave me alone. Niall also tried to get me to talk, I could tell he worried a bit even though he masked it up quite well with jokes, but I kindly told him to get off my back and leave me alone. Maybe quite harsh.

They just don't get it. This past few days have taken a toll on me mentally and the one person I wanted to talk things through with was also the one I tried to promise myself to ignore. He's been at my door every single day, sometimes not even talking but I could see his shadow from underneath the wood.