'Till forever h.s.

this is moving on(33)

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
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I guess this is moving on

A/N
Hi, y'all I wanna apologize for not updating in 2 weeks... like I said it's been very overwhelming with school back but I'll try to be more active ❤️
I JUST WANT TO SAY I LOVE GEMMA AND THIS IS *NOT* PERSONAL;)

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Davina's POV

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I whisper slowly, trying to rip off the bandage as carefully as possible. My back was turned to the bathroom mirror and my neck was twisted at a painful angle just so I could see what I was doing. I was just in my bra, the soft hoodie hanging over my chest.

A pained hiss leaves my lips as the freshly healed comes in contact with the air. My whole back was swollen but the smaller cuts were going away quite quickly, the real problem was the name on top of my left shoulder. Whoever did this took their time cuz this bitch kept me from sleeping on my back for two weeks now.

For Daisy. I just don't understand what happened but most of all, why.

All the boys have been acting extremely weird ever since it happened, especially Harry. They will barely talk, no one wants to answer the millions of questions I had and simply brush it off with a usual 'we're looking into it'. We haven't had a proper dinner in 12 days now, Louis even tried to keep it up for the first two days but we all just gave up. It felt heavy to be near each other, and I'm not gonna lie, it kinda hurts.

I also don't understand Harry. He was so worried, kissing my head and holding me when it happened but now he avoids me like the plague. I even tried to ask him if everything was okay but he just rushed an 'I'm tired' and practically slammed the door in my face. The only person who wasn't avoiding me, much of the contrary, almost clinging to me, was Zayn. Which I also found very weird, I could feel his eyes on me the whole time throughout the days and whenever our vision met he's always sending me apologetic glances.

I'm just so, fuck I don't even know. I'm confused and hurt, physically and emotionally. The only thing I remembered was tumbling up the stairs and then the next thing I knew, Zayn was picking me up and my skin burned everywhere. I think the realization hadn't settled in until I saw the blood dripping down my arms, the tears were leaving my face before I could think of stopping them. The true panic of not knowing what the hell happened to you is something I don't wish for anyone, my heart never raced so fast yet I wasn't completely sure if everything was truly happening or I was just stuck somewhere between nightmares and reality.

I felt so detached from myself, the pain was real and burned from deep inside me. But it still seemed as if I was watching everything from the outside. I could feel cold sweat on my forehead, a lump in my throat barely allowed oxygen to reach my lungs and full consciousness was something I, unfortunately, wasn't provided with at the moment. All I remember thinking was please go away. I've tried telling myself that whatever was going on with me was only temporary, but at that moment it really didn't seem like it.

I was just so fucking scared, I really thought I was gonna die right there. And the only thing that kept flashing through my mind was never making up with Zayn or never telling Harry the truth. 

The pink scars that spelt out the unknown name were just a constant reminder of it all. Louis was helping me with the bandages the first week but I didn't wanna bother him so much so I decided to just do it myself. It wasn't that hard since the most difficult to reach was already fully closed. The only thing I don't think will heal any time soon is the paranoia this left me in, I'm always on edge even though the boys won't leave me alone. And I can't never, ever, sleep with my back to the door. Needless to say, I can barely sleep at all and that's probably why I look like a walking zombie all the time.