Last First Kiss | JJ Maybank OBX

38. Back to Normal

*this chapter contains mature content*

JJ's POV

I wake up to the smell of bacon, smiling to myself knowing that Olivia is in the kitchen cooking breakfast for us.

It's been two months since we lost the baby, and it's been one of, if not the toughest, times of our lives. For the first week, Olivia would wake up in the middle of the night screaming from a nightmare about that day. I don't think either of us got more than 3 hours of sleep that whole week. The second week was a little bit easier. We left the house for the first time, granted it was just to go to John B's. All the pogues wanted to see us and spend time with us so we knew they were there for us, and it was nice. We didn't stay for long, our social battery was little to non existent at that point. The third week was easier than the last. Olivia wanted to go to the beach one day, so that was a big step. When it hit a month, we spent the day at the beach talking about what we think the baby would've been like. What color eyes they would've had, if it would've been a girl or a boy, which parent they would love more. It was a beautiful day, and we only cried happy tears in memory of what could've been. After that, the days have felt shorter and the weeks have come faster. We're finally moving on and making our way back to reality.

I reach for my phone and check the time, seeing that it's only 7:45 am. "It's too fucking early," I say to myself before stretching and getting out of bed. I go to the bathroom and rinse my face with cold water to wake myself up more before walking out to the kitchen to find Liv swaying her hips and humming along to some Taylor Swift song.

I sneak up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, smiling as she jumps a little bit before melting in my arms. "Hi," she says softly before turning around.

I lean down and kiss her forehead, saying "hi" back. She pouts, poking her bottom lip out slightly.

Before I can ask what's wrong, she says, "no kiss?" meaning no kiss on the lips.

I laugh and lean down, kissing her lips. After a few seconds, I pull away and she giggles before turning back around and flipping the bacon on the stove. "You're happy today," I say to her, noticing how she's giggling, humming, dancing, and asking for kisses.

She nods her head slightly. "I am happy. I'm healthy, you're healthy, John B is healthy, all the pogues are healthy. I'll never forget our first baby, you know that. But I decided this morning to live for him or her instead of focusing on mourning. I know we'll have a house full of kids one day and we'll tell them about how we prayed for another chance at a baby," she admits, still facing the stove.

I move to sit on the counter, wanting to see her face and make sure she's not secretly crying, which she's not. "That was beautiful, Liv. And do you even realize how strong you are? I'm so lucky. One day our house full of kids will be the luckiest kids in the world," I say, meaning every word.

She looks over at me, smiling sincerely. "I love you," she replies, keeping it short and sweet. I say I love you back and hop off the counter, moving to sit on the couch while I wait for the food to be ready.

After a few minutes, we eat breakfast and make our way back to bed. I lay down first, turning on the tv and putting it on Friends. We started rewatching the entire series when everything happened. It was a way for us to laugh in the darkest time of our lives. Liv gets into bed a few minutes later, wearing only a large t-shirt that I know is mine. She scoots closer to me and I pull her closer, holding her in my arms from behind. We cuddle and watch the show, falling back asleep. I wake up to the feeling of Liv moving against me, almost like she's moving her ass back on me. "What is she doing." I ask myself in my head, opening my eyes and seeing if she does it again. A few minutes later, she does. I take a deep breath and put my hand on her hip, drawing her attention.