When a God falls for you [Zhongli x Reader]

A Harbinger's true feelings

Before you can say anything, Childe suddenly spins you around to look at him face to face.
»Ugh come on, don't be so dramatic. My games are funny. It seems like you never even have any fun in your life..« He annoyingly says.

But you're not answering him - Childe looks like himself again, but you know what you saw in that reflection. What was that?

»Zho- Zhongli-« You stutter, looking at Childe.

»What??« Childe confusingly says, looking back at you.

»Are you- no.. that.. that can't be.. but why..«

»y/n, what is your problem? Are you still thinking about.. him??«

You look Childe in his eyes and see him looking at you in a slightly angry way.
»He's here..? Please, tell me.. he's here.. I-«

But Childe only grabs your waist and your throat softly - trying not to hurt you, but still being rough.
»What the hell are you saying?? You're one of us now, Zhongli is gone and he forever will be - that is only for your own good, you can't keep thinking about him now!!«

By now your mind is clearing up again - the shock of seeing, or even just imagining Zhongli being there is slowly fading. The thought of it is just not realistic - he left you, you're one of the Fatui now - there's no way of going back.

»Childe.. s-stop, I- I just saw something weird or it was just my imagination- I don't know-«

But Childe doesn't seem to calm down. He just seems to get more angry - or more like.. frustrated.

»WHY is he still so important to you?? Do you not realize how we are the better guys?? Do you not remember what he did to you?? Why... why can't you just..«

»What are you saying??« you ask, somehow trying to loosen his grip at you.
It's like Childe lost his mind over you saying Zhongli's name just for once - you know that something was up with him, all this time already.

»You.. you..« he only stutters, then he slowly starts to look to the ground and lets go of you.

»You should have been mine. From the very beginning.. It should have been.. me.«

You can't quite understand what he's saying because he's suddenly mumbling so quietly, but before you can ask anything anymore, he turns around and walks towards the door.

»Wait- I- I..  I just imagined something, it was nothing really! I am a Fatui now.. I'm not betraying any of you! My mind.. it's still just.. not fully recovered.. I only want answers, I need answers to certain things-«

»I- I can't. I.. overestimated myself in thinking I could handle...« Childe only mumbles, not looking back at you.

»Hey, just talk to me, you just confuse me even more with all this weird behavior and acts and-«

Then Childe turns around and stares at you, then coming closer and closer to you again. His weird approach makes you freeze - he could do anything to you right now.

»Listen« he orders as he stops right in front of you. »I- I won't be there for you after tomorrow anymore. I just.. I can't. You'll be handed to one of the other Harbingers.«

Your heart sinks to the floor as you hear this.
»W-What?? What do you-«

»I just need you to.. fight for yourself, okay? If anyone ever tries to come close to you - don't hesitate to hurt them. You're strong and tough and.. beautiful. You can achieve anything you want - I know that. Don't let anyone bring you down, ever. And if you ever feel like giving up.. remember my words - please, y/n..«