The Marble Notebooks

Chapter 14

The weather was getting colder and using the balcony to read wasn't a comfortable option anymore. I began to spend more time in the study. The walls of bookshelves with weird antique pens and plaques on display were similar to the school rooms. This is the only room I've seen that's fully carpeted at the compound. I only turn on the tall lamp in the corner when in the study, the lights from the ceiling were too bright and killed the reading mood. I used to sit in an armchair by the desk to read, but recently I realized the dark blue cushioned chaise lounger against the window was the most optimal spot.

Currently, I was reading an old classic book I read in school and still taught to some of the older English classes called The Odyssey. Technically, the book is a poem, but it's over 12,000 lines long and tells an epic story about Greek heroes, Gods, and mythical beings. Reading about unique characters that contain powers or hold a powerful role in society allows the mutant students to relate more to the content. The situations characters find themselves in where they learn about the negative and positive traits of the characters teach lessons and provide insight to the students as well. I read some of my favorite sections when I missed the school and my family there. I also took time while I was in here to write in my notebooks. It was quiet and rarely anyone entered so I felt I could be alone and focus.

I was busy highlighting and circling up words on pages and pages of the Avengers study copy of The Odyssey as I had some low music playing from the computer on the desk in the middle of the room. When I read I could tune out everything else and see the scenes play out in my head. If it wasn't for the rusty hinges on the door of the study, I would never know someone was entering the room.

"So this is where you've been hiding all day?" Bucky said as he shut the door behind him causing me to look over at him.

"I wouldn't say hiding," I closed my book with my pen holding my place.

"No?" Bucky asked and crossed his arms while leaning on the desk facing me. "What are you listening to?"

"Uh, Lorde. I used to listen to her a lot when I was younger," I explained.

"Sounds good," He said and we were silent for a little while her first album played on repeat from the desktop computer.

"What have you been up to?"

"Looking for you," He answered smiling.

"For me? Really?" I smiled back and sat up off of the couch.

"Yup," He sighed. "You didn't eat with everyone and you didn't train with us this morning,"

"Ah such good spy skills," I joked.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just- I just didn't feel like being social today," I huffed and played with the pages of my book.

"You're lying," He said. I could feel his eyes on me while I tried to look anywhere but his face. "Tell me," I paused for a while to try and refocus all of the thoughts swimming around in my head. "Julia, c'mon,"

"I don't know if I did the right thing," I admitted. "Leaving the school. Leaving everyone so abruptly as I did," I finally looked up from my lap to meet with his blue eyes. "I made such a big decision coming here and I didn't even consult anyone on it... I just said I had to go and left. The Professor doesn't know where I am for the first time in my life, and I feel... I dunno," I sighed. "Scared, I guess."

"Scared of what?"

"Something happening to them, something happening to me. Scared of disappointing them, or you guys,"