The Marble Notebooks

Chapter 15

 It's almost been a little over three months since I first arrived at the Avengers Compound in September. And it's been about a month and a half since Bucky and I first started going on our 'dates'. We continued to hide us from everyone else. We only acted as a couple in the privacy of my room or for a few minutes if we had the gym or kitchen to ourselves. It was fun sneaking around and doing our secret movie nights, but I was looking forward to when I can hold his hand at the diner table and cuddle next to him on the couch after a night of drinking with everyone.

With Christmas coming up in the next couple of weeks, I couldn't help but think of the school and everyone back home. I still haven't talked to anyone since I left, which I guess is a good sign. Bucky asks me if I miss them all, of course, I say yes. I still feel like a shitty person if I think about abandoning everyone who raised me for too long. But I remind myself what Bucky said about sticking to my decisions and talk myself off of the self-hate train.

I sat at the kitchen counter this morning with a large cup of coffee, staring into space. There wasn't much going on around here during this time of the year, Wanda told me. Stark and the other higher-ups they work with cut back their missions and training time for the holidays.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to Mr. Stark and a few people behind him in all black uniforms holding big boxes. I stood up, about to retreat to my room, but Stark stopped me.

"They are just here to drop off some Christmas stuff," He said signaling me to sit back down and go about my business.

Rhodes landed in his suit on the balcony holding a massive Christmas tree and dragging it into the living room. Everyone began emerging from their rooms to unpack the boxes the people delivered for us. I stayed in my seat at the counter. They all began laughing and reminiscing on their past holidays and I didn't wanna get in-between it.

"Not a holiday person?" Bucky asked, making me jump a bit. I didn't hear him sit next to me at the counter.

"No, I love holidays actually," I confessed.

"Then go help," he nodded toward everyone in the living room.

"Noo," I shook my head. "I'm just not in the mood." He looked at me concerned. "I'm just missing home, I guess. And they all have years of memories together, I don't wanna interrupt,"

He nodded. "I get it."

We were silent for a while. Just watching everyone hanging up lights and wreaths around the living room. The decorations were mainly red and gold, with some greenery thrown in there. The tree was massive, it reached all the way up to the high ceilings.

"Can we pick for secret Santa?" Sam begged and grabbed a notepad.

"Yeah, good idea," Steve said, "Write everyone's name down,"

Sam ripped up the papers and put them in a bowl and walked around for everyone to pick. He came up to me after going to Bucky and stuck the bowl out.

"No, no this is your thing, I don't wanna intrude," I said waving my hands.

"Well I already included you so if you don't pick, we will have to start all over again," Sam shrugged.

"Pick," Wanda urged while shoving her little piece of paper in her jeans pocket.

I smiled, just excited to be included, and grabbed one of the pieces of paper. I unfolded it close to my eyes so no one saw. Pietro, the paper read. Honestly, that's a good one. Obviously, I've gotten to know him well over the past few months so I was excited to get someone I could actually get a thoughtful gift for.