The Marble Notebooks

Chapter 45

I began going to Wanda's therapist instead of Dr. Reese. As Wanda said, this guy was more sensitive to the obscure problems we have as 'heros'. Steve suggested I see the therapist twice a week instead of once like I usually do. I didn't want to do it, but apparently, Tony and the new therapist agreed. The sessions were getting better. He didn't talk down on my drinking, which was good because no one was going to get me to stop. Chugging bottle after bottle each night was the only way I could get more than 30 minutes of sleep.

Considering I was wasted the majority of the time and sleeping at weird times throughout the days, I couldn't keep track of how long it's been since Germany. Since the last time, I saw her. Some days I would debate going to see the guys and checking a calendar, but I figured not knowing might be better than knowing.

Sam and Steve came in and cleaned Julia's room while I was passed out one day. I thanked them when they came to take me to therapy the next day. They both acted like it was no big deal, but I felt a little shameful about the whole thing. On the way back from therapy Sam told me about something they saw on the news last night.

"She was spotted again," He said and looked at me in the rearview mirror.

"Where?"

"Spain," He sighed. "The search in London was called off. Now the Spanish government and the Professor have coordinated a search in Spain,"

"Spain?" I questioned. "What were they seen doing in Spain?"

"Same shit as London," Sam said. "They took a research lab hostage,"

"A whole lab?" I asked sitting up in my seat. "Any... casualties?" I regretted the question when I asked.

"16 dead and 25 injured," Steve answered.

"Fuck," I groaned and put my head in my hands.

"They stole a bunch of chemicals and lab equipment," Sam added. "The Professor assumes the Brotherhood is still attempting to recreate that bad batch of serum Hank created that was meant to deactivate the X-gene in mutants, but only enhanced their powers,"

"Yeah, I remember," I sighed.

"The Professor thinks they are getting closer," Steve said. "Now that it's been four months, more and more people are coming forward saying they have spotted the Brotherhood near their town,"

"Four months!?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah..." Sam said. "Bro, you been out of it for a minute,"

"It's been too long. Four months is too long," I stressed. "How have we not even gotten close?!"

"Everyone is doing all they can," Steve reassured me as we pulled into the compound.

"I haven't been doing shit," I groaned.

"There is nothing for us to do besides wait," Sam said. "Don't be so hard on yourself,"

"Agh," I mumbled and got out of the car and slammed the door behind me.

I got back to Julia's room and packed a bag of some clothes. Something came over me and I couldn't just sit back and chug liquor to sleep anymore. I didn't know exactly where I was going yet. But I couldn't stay here. I stormed out of her room and down the hall.

"Where are you going?" Pietro said as I walked through the living area where everyone was sitting.

"Don't know," I answered and pressed the elevator button.

"Buck, don't do anything stupid," Steve said standing up.

"Just stay with us," Nat pleaded as the elevator doors opened.

"No," I said and began pressing the button to close the elevator doors. A breeze blew my hair back and Pietro was standing next to me with a bag on his shoulder.

"I'm coming," He said.

"No. Pietro! C'mon!" Wanda shouted as she came walking towards the elevator.

"Fine by me." I shrugged and the elevator doors finally shut.