The Marble Notebooks

Chapter 54

I fell asleep for a few hours after everyone left my room. I was abruptly woken up by a weird nightmare. I was with Pyro and Spike in the middle of a room, covered with dead bodies. Various knives and spears were sticking out from their bodies, some were even on fire. I woke up when Pyro reached to grab my arm and pull me out of the room. I couldn't tell if the was a memory or a fictitious nightmare, either way, I couldn't fall back asleep.

I got up to shower for the first time by myself in the bathroom off of my bedroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and barely recognized myself. My skin was pale and dry-looking. My muscle definition was gone and my elbow bones and knees stuck out. My eyes were tired, with dark circles under my eyes and pink sore eyelids. I got in the shower fast so I didn't have to look at myself anymore.

Although I wish to remember my life for the few months before the Brotherhood, I know I was doing all sorts of horrible things with the Brotherhood. I don't wish to remember whatever happened there at all.

The shower rejuvenated me. I put lotion all over my flakey skin and brushed out my clean hair to look semi-normal again. I got dressed in the sweat pants and sweatshirt Storm left out on my dresser for me.

A knock came from my door and I shouted for the person to come in as I sat back down in my bed, fresh and clean.

"You didn't come down for dinner," Kurt said when he poofed in front of my bed with a tray of food.

"I just woke up,"

"Well, Hank wanted me to bring you this," He said and placed the tray in front of me.

"Thanks," I sighed and glanced over the food. Chicken, pasta, broccoli, and a roll of bread. I began to pick apart the roll of bread to eat.

"Hank wanted me to say to eat the chicken," He added and sat on the end of my bed.

"I'll get around to it," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm glad you're back," he said. I looked up at Kurt surprised. He's usually always making jokes or blabbering about nonsense. It's very rare he takes things seriously.

"I'm glad to be back, Kurt," I smiled at him.

"Storm was hanging out with me every day, I need her off my back," He smiled.

"Oh, so that's why you're happy I'm back," I joked.

"For the most part," He shrugged. "You better eat that chicken," he said standing up from my bed. "You look like shit,"

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes and shoved another piece of the bread in my mouth.

"I'm going," He laughed. "See you later," He said and poofed out of the room before I could say bye.

I ate a bit more of the food before putting it to the side. I decided to flip through the pages of the September notebook. I had every page filled top to bottom. The first page was a mess, with crossed-out words and unruly handwriting like I was being rushed.

I am meeting with Charles later today to tell him I'm leaving. I haven't told anyone and I don't know how to say it. It's the only option right now though... I have no clue where Erik is, the Brotherhood is on the hunt for me. I can't stay here and bring another fight to the school. I feel like all I do is bring shit around here and traumatize these damn kids.

With Erik off in another country doing god knows what, the brotherhood is missing their manpower. And who better to fill that hole than me, apparently. I think they also want to use me as bait for Erik... which is idiotic... like he would care where I was or what I was doing.