The Marble Notebooks

Chapter 32

Bucky and I began packing our bags the next morning to go back to the compound with the guys. I was nervous, of course, combining these two groups was going to be an interesting experience. I just hoped everyone would get along. Bucky didn't care if everyone got along, he just wanted to get back to the compound already. I think he felt a little outnumbered in the school of freaks.

A knock came from my door.

"Yeah?" I shouted and Alex walked in. "What's up?" I asked as I zipped my bag shut.

"Can we- uh just talk real quick?" He asked taking a few steps into the room.

"Sure," I looked over to Bucky and he knew to leave the room. He grabbed his bag and said he would wait near the stairs for me. "Something wrong?" I asked Alex.

"I'm not sure if... if I should come," he said sitting on the couch in my room.

"What? Why?" I asked sitting next to him. "We need all the help we can get and it's the Brotherhood, no one knows them better than us," I explained.

"I know, I know. I just don't think I'm welcomed around your new friends," He groaned.

"What do you mean? You haven't even met them yet! They are all nice," I assured.

"Yeah? They'll be nice to your ex that almost killed you?" He questioned sarcastically. "Obviously they are gonna hate me, he does," He said referring to Bucky, and rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, I thought we were past this," I sighed.

"Past what?" He scoffed. "We were together for like six years, Julia. It's hard to just forget about that,"

"I didn't forget about it," I admitted. "I'm just moving on, it's been years since we were together. It's time for both of us to get over it. You were the one that ended things between us anyway,"

"Me?" He raised his eyebrows at me. "You never looked at me the same after that damn day,"

"What day?" I said confused. "I came out of the infirmary after being with the Brotherhood for months and I needed time, to... to get back to myself. And you just left,"

"We were over long before that,"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said shaking my head.

"Yes, you do!" He said loudly. "You killed Daken. You killed him and you resented me for it,"

"That's not true," I shook my head.

"Yes, it is. You had feelings for him, I always knew you did. And when you killed him I knew we would never be the same,"

I was at a loss for words. "I killed him for you!" I shouted standing up. "You were half dead by the time I got to you! I had to kill him,"

"I never asked you to do that!" He shouted standing up with me.

"So what? You wanted me to let you fucking die? That's what you wanted?" I snapped at him.

"No-" he began.

"Then what Alex!? What did you want me to do?" I asked in disbelief that he even brought this up.

"I don't know!" He shouted at me and ran his fingers through his hair in distress.

"Why the fuck did you even bring this up right now?" I asked with tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks.

"We never talked about it! Years later and we never talked about it! I tried to bring it up to you and each time you shut me up," He raged. "And now the list keeps growing! I hit you a few months back and you never talked to me about that,"