The Pseudocide of the Moon - Complete

Chris

I put everything out exactly the same. With the twinkle lights. The globe, and the fluffy pillows inside.

I make a charcuterie board just like last time and this time I have a bottle of champagne.

"Everything has to be perfect."

Scott helped me out again. And I finished setting everything up a lot faster than I did the first time.

Thankfully Scott let me wash up at his apartment. I was all sweaty from all the lifting. And although I know Liv wouldn't mind... I'd rather not be sticky.

I made sure I was upstairs 15 minutes early. Liv is usually on time.

And just as I expected, she came at 8pm.

"Liv," I let out breathlessly. It had been too long. She had a bit of a tan and was wearing a big fur coat.

"You're tan."

"I am. I umm... I just got back from LA."

"Oh."

"I went to go visit my friend. I needed to um... see her," she fidgets with her nails and looks down at her boots.

"Umm well that's good... Oh! Look," I move to the side and gesture behind me.

"It's out globe," she lets out just as breathless as I. 

She said our globe. I almost melt right there and then but I gesture for us to go inside instead.

"Right behind ya," I say as I follow her.

We sit down inside and she takes off her coat. It's nearly January now, two days left, so it's cold out. Just like before I made sure to have a heater in here. 

"It looks great, thank you."

"It's my pleasure. I made everything like our first night here."

"Yeah I uhh.. remember. It was a fun night."

"Yeah... It sure was. So uh... How are you?"

"I'm good, now. I had a lot of time to think." 

She paused. And looked down at her hands.

"You don't have to hold back for me. Whatever you need to say is okay. I'll be okay," I try to catch her eyes, to let her know I really was okay, but she just smiled. 

Liv continued to stare down at her hands, "I was scared. I still am. Dating someone who has virtually no privacy is scary. And I just know I'll be eaten alive by the media. By your fans... I didn't want to look you up, but it seems like you have a pretty big fan base. And they don't tend to be the most forgiving with your ex girlfriends."

"Liv, I've said it before and I'll say it time and time again. All I care about is what you think. How you feel. I want to make sure you feel safe. Because you're the one I care about, you're the one I want to be with. I've never felt so alive with someone. I've never felt so seen by someone. You get me. And you're so understanding. The other people I've dated, even as celebrities never understood why I was away from them for so long. But you understand. And god you're so amazing. Like literally one of the most interesting people I've ever met. You're so smart, and so so beautiful. I don't know if I could go on without you."

She looks up at me, a bit in awe, and bit skeptical. Her eyebrows are furrowed, but she wants to smile.

"Chris I like you. More than I've ever liked anyone before. But I just have to make one thing clear. I'm not ready to go public. Maybe not for a while. And I'll need you to be patient with me. I want to be with you. I really do. But I don't want to loose my freedom."