It was under control

fourteen

Tom

Later on in the afternoon, I walked back into Jules's room after coming off of my break; expecting to find a girl who was getting ready for lunch. Yet she was sprawled out on the floor, knees into her chest as she cried. I had managed to calm her down earlier, but now the cries were deeper and more meaningful. I could tell that her fake facade tricked everyone but me. As the scars litter her fragile skin, while she concealed them from the world, while convincing lies left her lips during a conversation. Her tears and trauma all tucked away behind a simple but affective, fake smile. Her thick and tough skin, getting thinner and thinner as she begins to crumble and break in front of us all. Her beautiful hourglass only contains a few droplets now, however everyone's ignorance seems to hold strong. Jules was right. Nobody really cares until you are gone.

Jules never seemed to mind silence, or the dark place her mind would enter whenever she was alone. It made her feel safe, gave her a sense of security, it's sad really. Everything she had ever been through, she felt as though her demons were the only ones there for her. And therefore she gave up her life and soul for them. "Hey Jules." I whispered so not to startle her, I crouched down where she lay, noticing the bright red mark on her forehead, and the crumpled piece of paper that she was hugging so tightly. "Hey, hey, hey; come on now. It's okay." I cooed in hopes it would calm her ever growing emotions. I placed my hand on her cold head, to reassure her that I was there, I felt bad for having to now force her to the one place she really resented, when she was feeling so low.

"Why did he leave me?" She sobbed out, "why does everyone leave me? When I need them the most?"

"It's just the way life goes Jules, but I am here, i'm not leaving you love." I sat down on the cold floor, lifting her up from underneath her arms and pulled her close to me. She cried tragically into my chest, her uncontrollable emotions seemed to not only pain her mentally but physically. "Why don't we go on a walk ay? How does that sound?" But really I was going to take her a long way around to the dining hall, in hopes that I could persuade her by that time to eat.

"I don't want to go on a fucking walk!"

"Come on it will take your mind off it."

"You are just going to make me eat..."

"Well you do have to eat Jules, you are in recovery for an eating disorder. No matter what happens in your life you have to eat, no matter the situation."

"I don't want to eat."

"I get that, I really do, your head is telling you not to, but you need to fight, more than ever you need to fight. Right come on, let's get up and go for a walk."

I stood up, pulling the deadweight of the anorexic girl up with me, a she slumped beside me, sad and vulnerable. I practically had to drag her out of her out a room, we past Sage's room, if looks could kill, I swear to god one of those girls would be dead. I'm not sure what happened between them to get this bad, but it's to the point that I no longer feel safe leaving them within 10 feet of each other. I get that they clashed, but usually patients forget about it pretty quickly and become friends again. But I know for definite that, that will not be happening between Jules and Sage. I changed positions to now be standing between Jules and Sage, as we continued to walk down the corridor. Just incase.

"Looking sad without your boyfriend Jules. Aww do you miss him?" Sage made a mocking, sulking face. "Must be depressing without him, shame to think that all of it was fake!" She laughed an evil laugh, "did you think he actually liked you! Ha! Who would love a bitch like you? Come on Jules, seriously, are you that blind to think that he liked you? It was all an act, all of it, do you want me to let you into a little a secret Jules? He told me everything. Absolutely everything. All your secrets. All your problems. Every single thing you told him. I now know!"