It was under control

fifteen

Jules woke up the next morning, with a swollen face and puffy eyes, from her most recent feedings the day earlier. She felt hopeless and a sort of dirty feeling, remember how much of her food had to be delivered through the tube yesterday. Strangely enough, Doctor Carson knocked on Jules's door this morning, he had a clipboard in his hand and was waiting at her door. "Good morning Jules! How was your sleep?"

"It was okay," she lied, "no Tom today?"

"Tom's here, but i've just come to explain a change in your day today."

"Is it bad?"

"No, no, not at all, I think you will quite like it actually. We are going to do some baking today. It's a form of exposure therapy. Would you feel comfortable doing that? Quite a few eating disorder patients will be taking part, straight after breakfast."

"Um... will Tom be there?"

"I believe so. So is that a yes?"

"I guess so." Jules didn't want to seem too excited, scared that Ana would be mad at her for being happy about baking food, that she would most probably have to eat. "What are we baking? And do I have to eat it?"

"We have a few baking recipes you can look at and decide on which one you want, but if you can't we can always help with the decision making. To answer your other question, yes you do have to eat it, it will be part of your morning snack." He smiled and gestured Jules to leave the room with him, "i'll take you to breakfast as I am here, Tom will sit with you though."

Doctor Carson waited as Jules slowly got out of bed, she swayed slightly and Doctor Carson was on edge, trying to gage if he needed to support her, but instead decided to let her recover on her own. She seemed more energetic this morning, tired, but slightly happier, "is that a sense of excitement I can see in your body language?" She paused in her tracks, to which he could sense nerves from the girl, "it's okay to be happy about this Jules, your eating disorder may want to make you feel nervous about this and try and make you believe that you do not want to do this, but you are finally getting your life back, that's exciting isn't it?"

"It's scary."

"Okay, well scary as well, but you have to experience these things in order to elevate that fear."

"That means nothing to me."

He rolled his eyes jokingly, "of course it doesn't! Right, i'll take you to breakfast then."

"Question for you Carson."

"Answer for you Jules."

She smiled, "what day is it?"

He peered down at his watch, "31st of August. May I ask why?"

Jules face sunk slightly, "oh, um just wondering."

"You sure?" Doctor Carson scrunched his face.

"Yes, yes, now can we get going?" Jules said anxiously. They began to make their way towards the dining room, the atmosphere felt depressed and it seemed as though everyone was feeling the same as Jules.

I believe Doctor Carson noticed this change in behaviour, especially when they walked into to dining room, he sort of leant into Jules to talk to her, "now can I ask you a question Jules?" She was picking at her nails, head down to the floor, she nodded as Doctor Carson opened the door to the isolated room. "What's so special about the 31st?"

Jules was shocked and confused at the question, "er, what do you mean?"

"Why is everyone acting different? I noticed it in your body language earlier when I told you the date. And as I walked into here, I could tell the whole atmosphere is off, the chatting is low and not as excitable as usual; lots of people seem low today."