It was under control

eleven

You are most probably extremely curious about the contents of the letter, as am I reader, as am I. So let's go back to how this all came about. After Jules's unexpected visit to Theo in the morning, he couldn't stop thinking about her. About the promise they had both made, and both broke. Theo did eventually leave the psychiatric hospital a few weeks after Jules, but ended right back in there after only 3 days. He worried about Jules, and what the consequences would be when he killed himself. He knew how badly it would affect Jules, but he just couldn't take it anymore. Hence why he began to push her away, in hopes that her stubborn and independent attitude would kick in, and she would no longer want to be with him. But he realised that her visit this morning, emphasised how she was not going to give up that easily.

Quite frankly Theo had made his mind up. About what you may ask. Well his life. He fully convinced himself that he no longer wanted to live, and therefore was beginning to say his goodbyes. And the one that would hurt the most, was to the girl who was there for him always, the only one who believed in him and the one who kept him alive. Yet he was depriving and pushing away his only lifeline.

Now you may be very eager to know the exact words of Theo's letter, but i'll leave you in a little bit more suspense while Jules created a scene in the girls corridor. "TOM, TOM, TOM LET ME LEAVE!"

"No Jules! Not when you are acting like this!"

"TOM! HE NEEDS HELP!"

"Who? Jules tell me what has triggered this?"

"TOM LET ME THE FUCK GO!" Tom was pulling Jules down to the floor, this was the second time this girl was being restrained from acting out today.

"Why are you all of a sudden acting like this Jules? What had gotten into you? Just talk to me, tell me what's up." And with that Jules was overcome with realisation, she had disappointed Tom so much this week. One last time. You have to go to Theo. Trick him. Go on. "Is it because you ate? You know that i'm always here for you to talk to, you don't have to act out to get my attention Jules. Just open up to me, tell me why this is happening? Or is this because of the letter?" Tom's eye-line was in the direction of the letter that was disregarded on the floor. He went to pick it up, to which Jules dove ahead of him and ripped it away from his reach.

"Take me to Theo... and i'll stop."

"I don't think that boy is good for you right now Jules."

"I don't give a fuck."

"Well I do. Now go sit down and take a deep breath."

"Take me to Theo." Jules said more sternly this time.

"No. Sit down." Jules was shocked at the tone Tom had enforced on her, he wasn't angry- Tom rarely got angry, it was more of a demanding tone, one you knew not to disobey. She stood staring at him, her bad temper mixed with Tom's calm one did not go down too well- it made Jules even more irritable due to having no reaction from him. "I want you to sit down, and think about what you have done Julianna. I want you to think about your behaviour this week, but especially today."

"But Theo-"

"No! No Theo, Jules. Theo is not going to get you through recovery. Theo is not the one fighting for his life in eating disorder recovery. This isn't about Theo, Julianna. This is about you. For once in your life be selfish! Focus on you and no one else, no one is going to be there for you when you are out of here, just you. Now please, take a seat." I wish you could have heard the determination in Tom's voice to get his point across. But it was so much so, that tears began to fill in her eyes, "I do not mean to make you upset Jules, but you are not listening to me, you are acting out, I can't keep making excuses for you my dear. I know you have had a tough week, I get that, but your behaviour is becoming intolerable. You need to realise that. You are currently seeing your life through cloudy glasses, you aren't seeing straight, this isn't the Jules I know."