It was under control

thirty

You know how sometimes you aren't even aware you have a cut until you use soapy water on the area? Then all of a sudden, it stings so much, but a few second ago, you had completely no idea the cut even existed. I believe healing is like that. Sometimes you don't even know that there are parts of you that still needs healing. Until something comes along that forces you to
become aware of that pain. Forcing you to have deal with it head on.

But maybe Jules is healing? Maybe she has turned the page, only to find new chapter. A better life. Chapter 30.

All the commotion from the last few months led Jules's discharge date to be pushed back, she needed time to recover, and she needed more specialist care. However now, Carson is convinced she is ready, and so is her dietitian. But Tom. You could see the worry in his face when Doctor Carson spoke about her discharge date. He worried about the life she would face outside of the psychiatric ward, worried that she would just turn back to old habits. But Jules is strong, she can do it, right?

Jules was sat in the quiet room, as she was staring up at the ceiling while sat on a blue beanbag. The cracks on the ceiling were winding together, she followed them with her shaking finger, minute upon minute, hour upon hour it seemed. Round and round until they stopped. Jules reached the end. Her artistic brain taking it as a work of art, a beautiful accident. The mess of the swirling ceiling, almost too similar to how Jules felt, how her mind was wired, all tangled up, and on some days feeling as though she would be tied up forever. Perhaps Jules is just as destined as the swirl on ceiling, looking at it as it inhabited the vast area, it had a distinct start and a distinct end. Maybe finally Jules had found her distinct end?

Jules waited for Tom, she was on 30 minute observations now, such a big improvement from her 1:1 a few months ago. Jules heard keys clashing together and footsteps as they grew closer to the room, she expected to see Tom turn into the room, instead it was Alex. "Where's Tom? He's meant to be here."

"I'm sorry Jules, Tom's not well today. So you have me. Is that okay?"

"What's wrong with him?"

"I'm not too sure Jules, i'm sorry, I haven't been told. I know you are going to see Doctor Carson soon, right? Maybe he can tell you more."

"So i'm stuck with you?"

"Unfortunately," Alex smiled, "may I sit?"

"If you must."

Alex sat down on the plastic chair near Jules, he cleared his throat, "I know we got off on the wrong foot when we first met. Is there a way that we could restart that?"

"Did you get my letter?"

Alex chuckled, "yes I did, I could tell you very much didn't want to write that letter!"

"Tom and Carson made me."

"Ah I see, I appreciate the thought though. May I ask if we can we restart?"

"Will Tom be okay?" Alex could tell it was playing on her mind.

"I'm sorry Jules, I wish I could tell you, i'm a very open and honest guy, so unfortunately I don't want to promise something I don't know."

"Okay. We can start over. By the way."

Alex smiled, "brilliant, that's great to hear Jules." He held out his hand, "Alex, lovely to meet you, and you are?"

Jules laughed at him, and he smiled in reponse, "oh so right from the start," she giggled more, while Alex nodded, "Jules, nice to meet you Alex." She outstretched and shook his hand and they both chuckled.

"So," Alex slapped his hands on his knees, "how has your day been so far Jules?"

"A nurse told me off this morning for spilling milk."