A DaVinci Co-Ed

Part 6

“He’s not interjecting anymore,” said Fawh, “while he’s listening I need some more Zathanian fluids, I am running out.”

“Go on then,” said I.

“You are wonderful, brilliant and zany.”

A large barrel of Zathanian fluids appeared on the rug next to the fire.

The Author said nothing more so Lebil did, “Keep me apprised of the situation, I want to know when they make the deal so we can send some officers in.”

“They don’t need any offices, the palace is big enough.”

“Did you really mishear me then or were you just making a joke?”

“ER, making a joke.”

“Did you mean er then or were you mentioning the Emergency Room or Elizabeth Regina?” Lebil asked of Fawh.

“I think the Author mistyped it.”

“It’s amazing we ever succeed in anything with his rubbish typing skills.” As Lebil said this an egg hit him on the head. “Yearch,” exclaimed Lebil, “I’m sure the Author used to be better at taking insults when he was younger.”

“Is that all then?” inquired Fawh, “I am egg-stremely tired.”

“Oh wonderful, I suppose we are going to have lots of egg jokes now.”

“No, goodbye.” Fawh switched the interdimensional device off and went to bed in a jug so he didn’t mess the floor up.

When Arthur got home he had forgotten to buy the meat free chicken pieces and Arianne was a little angry with him, “Why didn’t you remember, you know I Feel Like Chicken Tonight?”

“It must be the way you’ve been walking. Sorry dear, I have had a lot on my mind at the moment. I am having to deal with a horror dimension assassin sent from Opookah Dye.”

“Is he trying to kill you?”

“I do not think so, I think he is going to lead me on a merry chase.”

“A merry chase: Is that something the hobbits would do from ‘Lord of the Rings’?”

“Mm?”

“Meriadoc Brandybuck, Merry, a Merry chase?”

“Yes dear, that was very funny but I do not feel like pandering to your constant need to be laughed at.”

“Have you got any clues?”

“The first dead body was in the Ashmolean Museum. The body was laid out like a rabbit and the Alfred jewel had been switched with an Arthur jewel.”

“You with jewellery? That’s a bit unusual, well apart from your crown and your wedding ring.” She polished the diamond ring Arthur had given her at the end of the 6th book.

“Anyway, the Arthur jewel had ‘Arthur was made’ on it. It seems to be a reference to something later on in the story.”

“So have you got any clues about the whereabouts of this assassin?”

“No, not yet.”

“Maybe you could get in touch with Xanadu and ask Lebil or Danish about it.”

“Maybe Dear, I think I’ll make a cup of tea first.”

“Not until you’ve got some meat free chicken first.”

“Can’t you get one of the servants to do it?”

“We have robots in this dimension and the one I sent to the shop got the wrong ones three times!”

“Oh well,” whispered Arthur to himself as he put his shoes back on to go to the shop, “at least I won’t be nagged while I’m going.”