A DaVinci Co-Ed

Part 7

 When Arthur got home he had forgotten to buy the meat free chicken pieces and Arianne was a little angry with him, “Why didn’t you remember, you know I Feel Like Chicken Tonight?”

“It must be the way you’ve been walking. Sorry dear, I have had a lot on my mind at the moment. I am having to deal with a horror dimension assassin sent from Opookah Dye.”

“Is he trying to kill you?”

“I do not think so, I think he is going to lead me on a merry chase.”

“A merry chase: Is that something the hobbits would do from ‘Lord of the Rings’?”

“Mm?”

“Meriadoc Brandybuck, Merry, a Merry chase?”

“Yes dear, that was very funny but I do not feel like pandering to your constant need to be laughed at.”

“Have you got any clues?”

“The first dead body was in the Ashmolean Museum. The body was laid out like a rabbit and the Alfred jewel had been switched with an Arthur jewel.”

“You with jewellery? That’s a bit unusual, well apart from your crown and your wedding ring.” She polished the diamond ring Arthur had given her at the end of the 6th book.

“Anyway, the Arthur jewel had ‘Arthur was made’ on it. It seems to be a reference to something later on in the story.”

“So have you got any clues about the whereabouts of this assassin?”

“No, not yet.”

“Maybe you could get in touch with Xanadu and ask Lebil or Danish about it.”

“Maybe Dear, I think I’ll make a cup of tea first.”

“Not until you’ve got some meat free chicken first.”

“Can’t you get one of the servants to do it?”

“We have robots in this dimension and the one I sent to the shop got the wrong ones three times!”

“Oh well,” whispered Arthur to himself as he put his shoes back on to go to the shop, “at least I won’t be nagged while I’m going.”

The Witch King’s palace in central London was painted black. It was decorated Gothically and seemed old fashioned. Surrounding the king in his throne room were his three most distrusted advisors. Each was a genetic mutation created by the evil Hoo centuries before, a man lion, a man unicorn and a man bulldog. In fact the man unicorn was a female so do we say a female man unicorn?

Guarding the doors were paired Bigfoots and yetis. The yetis were dressed as Irish guards and the Bigfeet as grenadier guards. (The Bigfoots/feet did not need bearskin hats seeing as they already had furry heads, however they did grow their hair long and backcombed it to make it look a little like a Busby.)

“Can we trust this lord D’ark,” the Witch King asked his advisors.

“If you do not trust him,” said the man lion, “then just kill him and steal the time travel device.”

“It’s not stealing if he’s dead,” interjected the man unicorn female, “it’s plunder Leo.”

“Why don’t you just give him the deal?” suggested the man bulldog, “it’s only one dimension, you’ll have six others.”

“If he is truly evil,” replied the king, “then he would be a good ally, as long as he is lawful evil.”

“So more like a devil than a demon, if you believe what it says in the D&D Monster Manual.”

“Can you have a good-evil ally?” wondered Leo.

“You know what I mean,” derided the king, “a, er, bang up, cracking, great, groovy, neat, nifty ally.”

“So all the synonyms for good while not meaning nice,” thought the bulldog.

“Yes John,” commented the king, “let me mull this over.”

“With some mulled wine?” suggested the female man unicorn.

“That would be nice Cinnabelle, thank you,” the king held out his goblet and she poured some mulled wine into it. The king mulled over the mulled wine and allowed his mullet to fall into it slightly, “I think I will have him as an ally.”

“Whew,” said the Author quietly to himself, “it would have caused a problem to the plot if D’ark had died so early on in the book.”