The Moments I Recall

CHPTER SIXTEEN

I wonder what time they open the school. Being here alone is disturbing in a way. I'm able to hear my thoughts so clearly, it's like they are echoing through the dark halls at this very moment. This makes me realizes I do not hear the voices anymore. Even without them, my mind still fills itself with a thousand thoughts a minuet, a hundred problems a second, and only the same three solutions a day. This process never ends.

I leave my locker and make my way to literature. I know it's still too early to be stuck in a classroom, but I take a desk closest to the window. The grass outside, glistens in the sun, still wet from the morning dew. The lost hours of sleep randomly hits me like a crashing wave. With a single yawn I find my head on my desk and my eyes getting heavier. Then nothing, nothing but me and my thoughts.

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Light tapping wakes me. I move my head from the desk and turn to Theo who's in the middle of a drum solo on the desk beside mine.

"Thank you for coming out tonight Black Barrow." He grins. A band of voices pass the classroom. "You know you talk in your sleep?" He turns to face me.

"Yeah, I've heard," I tell him a little embarrassed. "Did I say anything incriminating?"

"Only that you think I'm too good, totally bitch'n, an absolute catch." He laughs.

"Dream on Millar." I smile. I had forgotten how blue his eyes were, the way he'd hold his thigh when he laughed. It's weird to think we would have still been friends even without everything that's happened. I didn't expect him to be like this outside of camp. The title he holds so proudly, that team jacket he wears everyday defining him. I wonder if he's happy.

"Are you in for all of this? saving the kids?" I ask meeting his gaze.

"Yeah, of course," he nods, "Who will be there for them if not us, right?" He shifts his gaze away to the window. "You know you don't have to, we weren't as heavily affected. Life there for was kind of perfect, in an eerie sort of way.

"No way, we are just as much affected as every kid in there, as every potential kid taken." I tell him.

"But Ly, I don't think you should, neither should Harper. I don't know what I'd do if..." He looks back at me.

"Theo, I'd rather space. I'm not backing out and I know Harper won't either. We knew what we were getting into the day we arrived there. Losing any of you would break me, but we are all still affected, who else if not us?" I remind him.

"Maybe its all for the best, right? Maybe it is better that it was us? Xylia, if you die because of this I-.... I have nothing to lose, are you sure you don't?" he asks. The thought passes my mind for a few seconds. Other than my mum, I have no ties here. I'm still being strung along by whatever connections I have with the camp.

"I've already decided." I tell him.

"Fine." He says. He takes a few seconds to himself, his gaze fixed on the window behind me the meets me gaze again. "Just don't space out on me Xylia." He gives me a half smile and pulls on a coil in my hair. Maddison walks inside the classroom, Harper and Will following after her.

"I'm pretty sure Harper is more man then I am," Will laughs taking the seat behind Theo and I. Harper punches him in the arm making him yelp a little. "Hey, I was kidding." He smiles. "I couldn't convince her out of it so, we are both in." I exchange a look with Harper then turn my gaze to the door as Jessie walks inside. He sits beside a window in the back row without a glance our way.

"I am so up for a rematch with one of those janitor dudes." Harper laughs.

"You can't fight a ghost," Will tells her, "even I know that for sure." I turn back to Jessie. His gaze fixed towards the window.