The Moments I Recall

JESSIE PRICE

Lia stares up at the last colours left in the sky. I haven't been here since Coby. I forgot about the abandoned rail road. It's not exactly in the visible areas of Black Barrow, hidden by the emaciated ash colour trees. I don't look up, I watch her eyes as the scan above. Unlike a time before, she can see the thin green dome covering the town. I can't tell her anything she doesn't already know. I can't protect her from anything she hasn't already seen but still, in this moment, time has stopped, and the sun waits patiently on the west side to set for her. I guess I'm waiting for her too.

"How did I not notice this before." She mutters to someone above. I don't look up. I wait for her thoughts to fade like the colours in the sky. She turns to face me and we watch each other for a while.

"Here." I say handing her a small black box. "Happy late birthday Lia, Xavier told me." she smiles a little but then looks at the box and rubs her thumb over it a couple times.

"Do you miss him?" She asks quietly.

"I guess." I tell her, but to be honest I think there's something wrong with me, ever since a few days ago, I still think and sound like him. I understand him now more than I ever did inside his mind but wish I didn't. I wanted to forget but now....

"Do you miss him?" She asks again, the question tugging me by my neck. Any attempts to avoid its strain only making it harder to escape.

"Why wouldn't I."

"Are you okay?" She asks. Her voice is too soft as she says this, it's usually darker toned, why does she keep pushing?

"I'm good."

"Why'd you bring me here?" She tilts her head a little like she can hear my lies.

"I don't know... but we should go." I tell her pushing myself up, but she doesn't follow.

"Do you miss him?" She asks again.

"I don't know what you want to hear Lia." I turn away from her and being walking on my own.

"The truth would be a great start."

"We've got to go." I continue into the trees, the sound of her footsteps not so far behind me.

"Jessie....." She says. I stop to let her catch up. "Do you miss him?"

"I don't. I want to forget Xylia." I tell her. "I'm tried okay, there was nothing I could do. I really tried but he didn't listen so why am I...." I shouldn't have said anything. "it's my fault, I should have let him take the pills. He'd be alive if I stayed in the void. Why did he..." It's to late to stop now. I use my arm to wipe my face looking up at the discoloured sky. She steps closer to me placing her arms around me and her head against my chest. I want to hold her, but I don't, letting her stand like this for a while before slowly peeling away and wiping my eyes. The sky becomes darker as the sun disappears. We don't speak when we walk back to my car parked near the trees. I sit on the edge of the hood and wait for her to catch up. When she reaches me, she places her hand on my head and half smiles. Then she climbs up into my lap, wrapping her legs above my hips and her arms around my neck. I don't fight it this time. I like her too much to pull away again so, I bury my face in her neck as I hold her.

"Do you miss him?" She asks for the last time.

"Everyday."

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆