The Moments I Recall

JESSIE PRICE

"Hey, you have your own fries." Willjay whines pulling his basket away across from me. I smile taking a bite from the fry I stole. "Harper, tell your brother he sucks."

"Harper, tell your 'boyfriend' I know where he lives." I tell him.

"Jessie, future brother in law," Willjay smiles "I was just kidding man." Harper shakes her head and continues to eat her burger.

"Hey Will, I found out my mom keeps an old keyboard." Xylia says beside me.

"Cool, we can start a band this summer, I know Theo......" Willjay stops."...uh Theo had a spare guitar his last foster parents gave him." I look up at Willjay, but he's busy wiping away the mustard from his burger off the table.

"I'll play it." Harpers tells him.

"No, it's alright." Will says looking up at Xylia. "We have to shut down camp before summer."

"Shit I almost forgot." Harper says. I guess I did too. By summer, more kids will be picked up and the cycle will continue. I cant lie and say the though had not left my mind purpose. I wanted to forget. Everything in my life is starting to get better. It's that's selfish to say considering Theo is gone and Will is having a hard time, but shutting down camp won't bring him back. We can't change the past. If we could, I would do anything to bring them back, Theo and Coby, but maybe Xylia is right, maybe its all for the best.

"That's not what it means." Lia tells me.

"Are we just gonna ignore the fact that Ly's eyes turn blue now?" Harper asks.

"What?" I turn my gaze towards her. She couldn't had possibly.....

"Maybe it's all for the best," she says, but she doesn't look back at me, "you're using it out of context."

"So, no one cares about the blue thing?" Harper asks again.

"Oh yeah, I tried asking about that earlier." Willjay shrugs.

"I just meant that......" I stop for a second. I don't even know why I'm explaining my own thoughts. "When we're you gonna tell us you can do that?"

"It only works for affected people, we are all connected remember?" She says picking up a spoon to look at her reflection.

"Yeah but..."

"Will Harper start doing that too? Cause that would be bad, you know, with all the stuff going on in here." Will cuts in, pointing to his head.

"You aren't affected Willjay." Harper smiles. Willjay leans over a across the table and cups Lia's face to turn her gaze towards him and away from the spoon.

"That's pretty cool Ly." He says scanning her eyes and taking the spoon.

"Thanks Will." She smiles. "We should go, don't want to miss first bell." We begin packing up our food and making our way outside. The windows along Andy's and the cars in the parking lot create a yellow glare. Xylia walks up to Harper and gives her a hug.

"I'll see you at school Ly." Harper laughs hugging her back. When Lia finally lets go and she turns to hug Willjay. He lifts her off the ground a little, muttering something to her before releasing and taking Harpers hand to lead her away. Lia then walks over to me wrapping her arms around my waist.

"I'm taking you Lia, you don't have to hug me." I tell her. She doesn't say anything, her hold just becomes tighter. When she lets go, I lean forward to meet her eyes. "Are you okay Lia?"

"Yeah." She nods and quickly kisses me.

"Wait." I smile, bringing her lips to mine again. I move from her lips, then her cheek, then the soft skin between her neck and her jaw. When I look into her eyes again, they are glassy, focused behind me rather than at me.

"I'm not going to school." She says quietly.

"Why not?" I ask.

"I promised Momma I'd stay with Grandma today." She says, but somehow, I just know she's lying. There's a shift in her voice, an extra tone under her sentence. She sighs and wipes the blood beneath my nose with her thumb.

"Are you going to tell me what's up Lia?" I ask her. She shakes her head.

"I need to borrow the watch." She says and without a second thought, I undo the watch from my wrist and hand it to her.

"What happened to together?" I ask her. "You know something we don't, and you think you have to do it alone. Lia, look at all the people who decided to go alone, Coby is dead, Theo is.... gone, even Willjay's brother. My sister is happy now Lia, Willjay is getting better and I'm now fine, you know why? I had you and Xavier. I'm sure if you just tell us what's going on we could......" I pause for a moment. "Lia, you aren't listening to me?"

"I can't. It can't always be about you, at least not yet, not in this time." She says. "You are just being..."

"Selfish, I know." I push my hair back with both hands. "I am selfish. I care about you.... so much Lia." She takes a few steps back.

"I can't..."

"We are in the present. I wouldn't change anything that has gotten all of us to here." I point. "You used to say that too, remember? We can find another way, there is always another way."

"If life gives us another way but there isn't one, believe me I know, you just don't under...."

"Don't start that with me too Lia..."

"Theo wasn't meant to die, Coby wasn't either Jessie...."

"I know but..."

"All those kids, two decades of generations...."

"I love you Xylia."

"They weren't meant to...."

"Did you hear me Xylia Reeves?" I ask her. My vision starts to go blurry.

".... none of this..."

"Just, listen to me for five seconds, just five Xylia. Everything going in your head right now, right here, just stop all of it." I ask her, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. She's looking at me now, holding my gaze. I know she's slipping. "Lia, I love you. I love you and I need you okay. I just need you to remember this, only this okay?" She nods, but her nose starts to bleed. I extend my arm and wipe her nose with the end of my sleeve, then pull her towards me so I can hold her. She doesn't put her arms around my waist. Her head remains buried in my chest, and her nose bleeding only blue now.

Alixavier was right. She let me go.