The Moments I Recall

THEO MILLAR

"Thanks for taking me." I smile.

"No problem." Alix shrugs. His eyes fixed on the road ahead, right arm outstretched on the steering wheel and the other on the gear stick. I roll down my window and stick my head outside. The wind hits my face and sun catches my eyes, I was getting tired of the cold. I notice Alix watching me and he smirks, then turns back to the road. The force of the wind becomes lighter as the car comes to a stop. I hop out first, jumping over the fence to make it to the giant tree at the end of the Campbell's field. Alix walks over slowly, hands in his pockets.

"There should be a hole somewhere in the tree." I tell him walking around the tree. Alix sits on at the back of the tree and waits in the shade. When I find the hole in the tree, I place my hand inside and pull out envelopes addressed to Jessie Price and Alixavier Woods. There's even one for Xylia Reeves. I walk over and sit beside Alix, passing him his envelope.

"Keep it." He tells me.

"You don't want to read what's inside?" I ask. He shakes his head.

"I already know what it's gonna say." He tells me.

"Really, what?" I smile.

"He's sorry. He uh, wishes it could have gone another way," He mutters. "It's not my fault."

"It wasn't." I tell him.

"Would you say the same if Willjay was in his place, Millar?" He asks. I don't say anything. He already knows the answer. I stand and lean up against the tree shoving the evolves in my back-jean pocket.

"He talks about you a lot in his notes, did you guys..."

"No, no." He laughs standing up to face me. "He was in love with..."

"Jennifer," I finish for him, "but did you..."

"I thought about it. I kissed him, but no, it was a different type of love." He smiles. "What about you?"

"What about me?" I ask. A smile grows on his face as he meets my eyes.

"Theo." He says. The tone in his voice cased in doubt.

"I don't...." I start but he steps up towards me and moves closer to me just until he's hovering over my mouth with his. Then he smirks, and the dimple in his left cheek grows, and my stomach begins to swirl, and any feelings I had left for J.P dissipates. His dark eyes on my lips as he moves his thumb across the right side of my jaw. I watch his gaze move up to meet my eyes. His head tilts to his right a little but then he looks down at the ground and pulls away. I can't lie, I am kind of disappointed.

"What?" I mutter.

"I can't." He sighs. Of course, I finally meet someone, like me who doesn't like me.

"Why not?" I ask the ground.

"Because you have to say it." He tells me.

"Say what?" I ask. He turns to me with a smile.

"That you're gay Theo Millar. You're like me." I don't say anything. I can't. I know I spent eight year of my like at camp, but I feel like I have been trying to fix this one thing all my life. At least I forgot at camp, I was normal for three years. I was in love with a girl for some of it, but like Alix said, it was a different type of love. "You don't have to tell the world, just tell me." He continues. My head hangs down as I scuff the grass. Acknowledging what I am, means being different. All I wanted was to be perfect because I couldn't be, normal.

"Ok golden boy." He sighs as he moves off the tree and walks way a to his car.

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