The Moments I Recall

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I wake up to the sound of heavy rain. Harper is still in deep sleep in the sleeping bag beside mine. I wiggle out of the bag and make my way out of her room and to the front door. When I open the door, frigid air hits my bear arms and legs, making the hairs stand up all over. I stand on the porch in short pyjama pants and an old t-shirt marvelling at the falling rain. Closing my eyes, I listen to each patter and tap of every drop hitting the earth in one big rush. Sticking my arm out to feel the icy water on my skin, and in the flash of the moment, I find myself standing on the path drenched watching droplets fly down all through the street.

"I don't think I'll ever fully understand you Ly." Harper laughs half asleep from the porch.

"I couldn't fully remember what the rain was like. Of course I had an idea from past memories but this, this is amazing." I tell her. She steps out to me and holds my hand.

"Yeah, your right." She smiles shivering a little. We watch the rain for a few seconds more before heading inside for hot showers and dry clothes.

"Where's J.P?." Harper's dad asks when he enters the house. I've never actually seen him before now. He has dark blue eyes unlike the twins. His scruffy eyebrows plastered in a permanent frown. They have a slight grey tint like his hair. He's as tall as Jessie and his police uniform makes him look more intimidating than the lines on his forehead. And yet, there's something warm about him.

"He slept over at Will Jones place." Harper replies.

"Oh, that's.... good." He says patting Harper on the head before disappearing into the kitchen. "Jones is a... good kid." I hear him half mutter.

"I should probably head back." I tell Harper.

"Cool, I'll drive." She smiles shaking the keys.

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Will's car is parked outside of my house. As soon as we pull up onto my driveway the boys run out of the vehicle and onto the porch shielding themselves from the rain.

"Look, before you guys kill us...." Will grins proudly as Harper and I approach them. Jessie rubs his neck embarrassed.

"What did you guys do?" I ask confused.

"The details will come later, we'll just show you what we found." Theo replies. Opening the front door, I invite the group into the lounge. Everyone makes themselves comfortable around the small wooden coffee table. I don't remember the last time I had so many people over at once; if only we were under different circumstances, my plans to tell everyone about the dream I had the other night wedged between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. If I go through with it, I already know no one here will support my decision. Either way I can't help but smile a little, it's nice having friends.

"So are you guys going to explain or are we just gonna sit here?" Harper asks. Jessie pulls out a large black notebook and flips it open.

"Remember when I was out if it?" He asks meeting my gaze. "I had drawn this but I don't exactly remember drawing it." He pushes the notebook over into the middle so we can all see.

"A map?" Harper says. It was a detailed drawing of the town, every street, every suburb, but there are no labels. In fact there are places that I have never seen before drawn under buildings or on empty fields.

"It's a map of Black Barrow, but there are extra places probably from years back. We think..."

"Tomorrow." I say. They all stare at me blankly. "Can we continue this up tomorrow, the weather isn't looking good and we should take a break before we are knee deep." Why move forward? The worlds endless spinning does that for us regardless. Technically I don't have to drive anything.

"Xylia?" Harper says, the way she says my name soft, but her brows furrow over her turquoise eyes.

"Yes?" I blink.

"Are you sure?" She asks me. "The rain is passing, and don't you think we should get this out of the way first Ly?" Unlike me to want it this way, a little selfish some would say. Really, I'm being considerate to them with this decision. I've rarely noticed, but people listen when I speak, even though most of it is all in my head. I say this to lift their burdens, even if it's just for a few hours.

"Yes, we can talk about this tomorrow." I tell them. "I promised my mom I'd help her out today." That's if momma even shows up.

"Ok, then let's hang out later?" Will smiles. "Andy's." We all agree, nodding our heads, waving goodbye, before I'm alone in my house.

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"Ly?" momma calls from the lounge.

"Hey." I say jogging down the stairs and greeting her with a hug. "It's only three, you're home early."

"Nice to see that yo' baby." She laughs squeezing me. She smells sweet and kind of like hand sanitizer. I let myself melt away in her arms. All my secrets dangerously lodging themselves in my throat. I let her go and meet her eyes. "Please tell me you ain't been getting into trouble child." Dark circles cup her earthy brown eyes.

"Yes momma, you don't have to worry about me." I tell her.

"I know, but I do." she says bringing me back in for a hug. "I was on the phone with grandma some days ago and she's coming up to live with us until yo' graduation."

"Really?" I ask excitedly but I quickly regret it. At least I know momma won't be alone. "When is she coming?"

"She'll be here in August." She tells me finally releasing me.

"Momma, do you remember the day I left for camp in the summer?" I ask.

"No, you hate camping. I could not even get you to stay the night in the backyard." She laughs. "Why do you ask?" Back at camp I imagined the day I got out how worried she would be. How she'd hit me a little first but then hold me until her arms were numb, till her eyes were dry, and then she would get me to tell her everything that happened somehow with one look. After that, everything would go back to the way it was, but momma looks tired. She has wrinkles near her eyes and around her forehead I had never seen before. Her sweet honey like voice now deeper and weak. The pigment of her skin now as dark as grandmas. The years were long and unkind to her. "Baby are you okay?" I look up an her and smile.

"I'm okay momma, are you?" I ask.

"I couldn't be any better now I'm here." She smiles back. "Speaking of graduation, you are so close to becoming yo' own woman. Xylia the world out there, it's not like this sweet little old town of ours. These new friends of yours grew up in this environment so just like you, they probably don't know what it's like beyond here. They have it a little easier than you and I. Ma is probably going to lecture you about these things when she comes but, I just want to tell you there is no shame is staying exactly where you are."

"I know." I tell her.

"Anyway, the dishes aren't gonna wash themselves child, I will need you around to slave away for me anyway." She laughs, but it's forced, inconsistent in tone.

"No, I'm not going anywhere momma." I smile as best as I can.

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