The Moments I Recall

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

School life is duller now that I know everything that is every taught in the classrooms. I can't remember what it was like when school was stressful. Staying up late at night to finish assignments, waking up early to revise exams.

"Can you pass me that paper." Theo asks. I'm snapped away from my thoughts. "Are you staying with Alixavier at your place?"

"Yeah, he says home has too many memories he's not ready remember yet." I tell him handing him the last test paper.

"Are you guys related?" He asks. I smile as he says this, a stereotypical assumption I have never actually heard before.

"No, our parents are friends." I tell him.

"Do you think he's attractive... would you date him?" Theo asks me. The thought never passed my mind.

"He's very attractive," I laugh, "but no, anyway he doesn't even like girls." Theo doesn't say anything at first but then he looks at me and smiles tucking a loose curl behind my ear. "You can't tell anyone that though, momma told me that people like that are not treated well."

"I won't," he tells me, "I promise." I don't understand why they are treated that way. I just think it's none of my business, I love Alixavier the same as everyone else in my life.

"I'm going to wait for Harper outside, see you later." I say leaving the room. I try my best to move though all the bodies making their way to the parking lot. Will stands outside already waiting at Jessie's car.

"Hey Ly." He smiles. I will never get sick of his smile.

"Hey Will." I smile back. He laughs lightly looking up at the sky.

"Have you seen Théo?" He's asks me meeting my gaze again.

"Yeah he's delivering papers." I tell him. It grows quiet between us quickly. I realise I have never actually talked to Will on his own. I don't know what we'd be without him. "I heard about your episode." I hate that I have to bring it up like that, but when will I get another chance?

"Oh," He laughs nervously, I don't really remember most of it really." I didn't believe Alixavier at first. Will never has a trouble in the world. He smiles when others don't, he knows what to say even if it's not the best thing to say. Why he never told us not being the issue, how we never realised the fault. The first time in the library, what Harper told me when they were at the edge, the night we left, all making sense regarding the way he acted. Guilt tugging me at the thought that Will Jones is nothing more than just happy.

"I'm sorry." I say quieter than intended.

"You don't have to apologise Ly." He smiles.

"I should have known. You shouldn't be in all this." I tell him. He nicks my chin lightly with his hand and gives me a grin.

"I didn't tell anyone, Theo doesn't know neither does Harper." He tells me. "Please don't tell them Xylia." There is a shift in his usually bright tone.

"Jessie already knows but if you're sure..."

"I am." He tells me. There it is again. Will Jones is broken like the rest of us.

"I promise we won't," I assure him.

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"Theo is studying the old notes we found at his now." Alixavier says flicking through a notebook on my desk. "Told him to wait but....."

"It's alright, he's one of the brightest so." I tell him eyeing the cup of vanilla ice-cream in my hands.

"Yeah, so I've heard." He smiles.

"Hey I'm heading out Ly, tell yo' momma I'll be back late." DeShawn says briefly before leaving me and Alixavier in the house alone.

"What's it like outside of town?" I ask taking a spoon full of the sweet, melted mixture. Even after school and all the books I read in those eight years, apparently, I'm missing something.

"It's different." He tells me.

"What's it like for you?"

"There are many opportunities outside Ly, but they weren't made for us." He says.

"Why because we came from in town?" I ask. He laughs at me and comes over to take the cup.

"The world tell us we can be whoever we want to be, do whatever you want to do but they don't mean us." He laughs. "They means the white folk we built this country for."

"We have equal rights now, stuff like that ended a long time ago Alixavier."

"You have been away too long Xylia."

"I don't..."

"Do you not see how the people here look at you sister. I didn't leave because I was gay. Chief used to always be on my back, white folks whispers always subside in small towns. And I left thinking I could get somewhere. I was going to be a writer Ly. Thing is, they don't like hearing the truth, they'd rather listen to the lies their own people tell them."

"I didn't know." I tell him.

"You couldn't have, who do you think wrote yo' history books. We aren't their people Xylia Africana, we aren't considered their equals." DeShawn was right. There's a bitter sweet irony of how the town is defending us from unorthodox beliefs and values in exchange for taking and abnormalizing the lives of offspring from families who reside here. Could I even imagine life outside of town? Then again, could I imagine a life where the camp didn't exist?

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