Chains

Chapter 20 - Learning to Trust

Jaxon

Kale gave me a tour of the Manor for one of our scheduled appointments (that's what I call them, he wants to call them 'dates' - I've never been on a date before). The Manor is huge and it's easy to get lost if you don't know your way around. I'm gradually learning where everything is located. The areas I'm most familiar with are the kitchen, dining room, guest quarters and Kale's private office.

Kale asked me to meet him at his office to begin each of our daily appointments. It's located on the first floor along with all the other administrative offices. His office is not huge, but it is larger than I expected. He explained that it is large enough to hold meetings including several people when necessary, otherwise, it's set up just for conducting business without too much else to distract him from that. The walls are painted an light olive green and the ceiling is an off white. There are framed pictures on the walls of his family. There's a large map on one wall with boundaries outlined in bold, he told me this is a map of the pack's territory. I knew it was large, but it's even larger than I suspected. Unlike most packs where they're all grouped close together, there are several small groups of homes scattered around within the boundaries and they're all part of the pack. None of them qualify as a community by themselves, they're just small groups of pack members who are not comfortable in larger groups.

There are two huge windows on on adjacent walls, one faces the gardens behind the manor and the woods just beyond them. The other faces the gardens along one side of the manor. Under each window is a small couch ideal for relaxing when you need to take a break, or when a more private place is needed to entertain very important people away from prying eyes and ears. There's a large cabinet with a glass front along one wall, it contains a selection of different liquors and glasses. Judging by the variety of liquors in the cabinet, it looks like he would be able to satisfy any guest's tastes.

There's a door connecting the office to a small room filled with books and files relating to pack business and another door from there to a small private bathroom. It's an ideal set up for someone who is very busy; everything he needs is close at hand.

The third floor of the manor is reserved for the Alpha and his family, each of them having their own private suite. Kale's private rooms are at the far end of the building and take up the entire end of the building. Guest suites are located on the second floor, that's where the rooms Lucy and I use are located. The main level is where all the administrative offices of the pack are located, as well as the kitchen, dining room and other rooms reserved for greeting guests, holding parties and such. The Alpha's private office are at the back corner of the main level looking out on the gardens and the woods beyond that.

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I woke up from another nightmare and I was surprised to find it was Kale shaking me awake rather than Lucy. He says he could feel my anxiety even from the other side of the house and on another floor. No matter; he's here and I find his presence comforting, more so than I would have thought possible.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, looking at me with worried eyes.

"Not really, it just seems that my memories are haunting my dreams", I say honestly. I've held back talking about my nightmares with Lucy because I didn't want to burden her any more than I already do, though I'm certain she knew exactly what they were about. I didn't want to burden Kale either.

He took my hand in his, giving it a small squeeze. "You can tell me anything, you know."

"I know", I replied leaning into his shoulder. "I just don't want to remember these things, and talking about them makes them more real than they already are."

He reached his strong arm around my shoulder, pulling me tighter into a side embrace.

I've changed since I first got here; back then I couldn't bear having anyone other than Lucy touch me because it reminded me of the past. I've gotten better about that and, while it sometimes still bothers me to be touched, I'm gradually able to handle it when they do. Kale's touch has always been comforting, from the first day; but it was hard not to flinch away whenever he approached me. Thank goodness that doesn't happen much any more.

"Do you mind if I stay here with you until you fall back asleep?" He asked.

"I would like that". Was all I said, lying down again to get comfortable and closing my eyes. I drifted off to sleep with him gently rubbing the back of my hand with his large thumb. I felt safe for once as I drifted off; this time to a dreamless slumber.

Kale

I woke up knowing that Jaxon was stressed. I jumped out of my king sized bed, grabbing a pair of jeans then made my way to his room. As I got close, I saw Lucy's door open as she made her way to Jaxon's room as well. I called to her quietly and she turned to look at me quizzically.  

"I felt like Jaxon needed me", I told her. She nodded in understanding.

"Then I'll head back to bed, you being there will be good for him", she said.

"Does this happen often?" I asked.

"Almost every night", she told me. "I wasn't able to do much when he was in the barracks back at White River, but it's been common since we left. I usually wake him up from the nightmares and try to comfort him until he can go back to sleep".

"You go back to bed", I told her. "I'll go in and take care of him tonight. I'll call you if he needs you". She nodded and turned back to her own room and softly closed the door behind her.

Jaxon was moaning in his sleep, thrashing around restlessly and crying out as if he were in pain. "Please stop, no more, no more", his words piercing directly into my heart. I shook him awake, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it so that he knew I was there. He looked at me in confusion for a moment, then calmed down as he came fully aware of his surroundings.After talking to him for a few minutes, I held his small hand, stroking it until he slowly drifted back to sleep. I think he is starting to trust me.