Chains

Chapter 25 - Marking

Notice: This chapter contains SMUT. If that's not your thing, you may consider skipping it.

Jaxon

My connection with Kale is getting stronger every day. I long for his touch but at the same time, I'm afraid of it. I still have nightmares about having sex, but lately I'm having dreams about Kale too; dream of him holding me and making love to me. These dreams about Kale are completely different than what I experienced at White River. There's no way what happened at White River was 'having sex', but I have trouble separating sex and rape. I worry it'll be like the nightmares rather than the dreams; it scares me.

Another fear is still that Kale will be disappointed that I am not a virgin. He's assured me time and again that my past means nothing to him; I wasn't a willing participant and he doesn't care about it. I still worry though.

When I wake up from the dreams about Kale, my ass is wet and I'm always aroused; something that never happened when any of the men were using me. I never got aroused or wet back then. I'm not sure how to deal with these conflicting feelings. I want to be intimate and I don't. I don't know what real intimacy is like; I long for, and dread, the experience all at the same time. My longing is getting greater than my dread now.

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Kale had to postpone our time together today until after dinner; there was a pack emergency that he had to deal with. I wanted tonight to be special so while he was in meetings, I showered and styled my hair, tying it back into a long ponytail. I've considered cutting it, but Kale likes it long. I spent an hour just deciding what to wear, deciding on a pair of tight black jeans and a gray tee shirt covered by a light blue button down shirt left open. I brushed my teeth and took care of all the other preparations that I thought were necessary for tonight. I hope Kale won't think I'm too forward.

Kale met me at the entrance to the gardens, taking my hand in his as we began our evening stroll. I tugged him towards the gazebo; my favorite spot in the gardens. He didn't resist, just let me guide him wherever I wanted to go. I sat down on the marble bench, the only seating here and pulled Kale down next to me. I surprised him by squeezing myself closer and leaning into his side. We sat there, not saying anything for quite a while, simply enjoying one another's company.

"Kale", I began quietly. "I think I'm ready to take this relationship further if you want to".

I heard his quick intake of breath. "Are you sure?" He asked, "I don't want you to rush before you're ready".

"I'm sure", I said.

"I've been thinking about this for a while now. I am afraid, please understand that, but I can't keep hiding from my feelings for you. I can't keep running from my fears; it's time for me to face them, and this is the first step for me. I don't want you to think that I'm just doing this because of my fears though. I really want it; the longing I feel for you just gets stronger every day and I hope you feel that way about me too. Do you want to be with me tonight?"

Kale

Oh Goddess, this amazing little man just keeps surprising me. I don't think he knows just how hard it's been for me to hold myself back. I've wanted him so badly since the first day we met.