My Everything (Completed)

Chapter 48

"I guess I'm also a coward then..."

Pinunasan ni Alex ang mga luha ko. He lifted my head so that I would be able to look him in the eyes.

"Let's not think about that okay? It doesn't matter anymore," sabi niya.

"Pero-" and dami ko pang gustong sabihin pero pinigilan niya ako. Sobrang daming "what if's" ang naiisip ko.

What if sinabi ko sa kanya noon? Magiging bestfriend ko pa rin ba siya o higit pa roon?

Kung umamin ba ako noon, mapapahamak pa si ate?

What if I did fight for him? Ako ba yung pipiliin niya or si ate pa rin?

"Annie, listen to me," panimula niya. "It doesn't matter anymore. Malaman ko man o hindi na ikaw yung mystery person ko, wala namang magbabago."

"Paanong walang mababago Alex?" naguguluhan kong tanong sa kanya. "Kung sinabi ko sana yun- kung pinaglaban sana kita noon.. si ate, kung hindi naging kayo..." hindi ko alam kung anong gusto kong sabihin. Sobrang gulo. Pakiramdam ko sasabog na ang utak ko.

Natigil lang ako sa pag-iisip ng hawakan ni Alex ang magkabilang pisngi ko.

"Annie, stop that," seryoso niyang sinabi habang nakatingin sa mga mata. "I know you. If you don't stop that line of thought you will end up blaming yourself."

Sasagot sana ako pero pinigilan niya na naman ako.

"Stop it, Annie," utos niya.

Pero hindi ko pa rin mapigilang isipin lahat.

I heard him release a big sigh. "If you really want to blame someone, then I should be the one to blame," sabi niya.

Napatingin naman ako agad sa kanya. Anong sinasabi ng lalaking 'to?

"No, you're not," agad kong sabi. Trying to defend him from himself. " Bakit mo naman iniisip yan? This is not your fault, Alex. You're a victim."

"But it is true," sagot naman niya sa akin. "Kung hindi kayo nagkagusto sa akin, hindi mangyayari ito. Hindi gagawa ng masama si Kim, hindi mapapahamak si Jessa, at hindi ka rin magkakaganyan. Ako ang puno't dulo ng lahat," dagdag pa niya habang naka yuko.

Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay niya bago ako nagsalita. "Alex, this is not your fault, okay? Hindi mo naman alam na mangyayari ito kaya wala kang kasalanan. Huwag mong sisihin ang sarili mo," I said to him softly.

He lifted his head before he spoke,"Really? You don't think it is my fault?"

"It's not your fault, Alex. This is no one's fault," sagot ko naman sa kanya.

I was about to comfort him pa pero I saw him smirk, "So you understand the situation na? Do you finally understand that this is no one's fault?"

I was confused for a little while, but then I realized what he did.

Hinampas ko siya ng malakas sa braso dahil doon.

"Aray naman, Nicolette!" pasigaw niyang sabi. "Masakit ah!"

"Dapat lang yan sayo!" I said before crossing my arms.

"Bakit naman?"

"Y- you tricked me!" sagot ko tapos hinampas ko siya ulit ng paulit-ulit. "May nalalaman ka pang, 'Kung hindi kayo nagkagusto sa akin, hindi mangyayari ito.'"

Tumigil lang ako ng hawakan na niya yung mga pulsuhan ko. "Stop this, Annie. Baka bumukas yung tahi mo."

"Ano yon GGSS lang ganon? For your information, Alessandro hindi ka ganon ka-gwapo! Hmp!"

I heard him chuckle. "Made you realize how foolish you were right?"he said which caused me to pout. "Don't be mad at me. I did that for you to realize it in your own. Hindi ka naman makikinig sa akin kung hindi ko yun ginawa."

Mas lalo akong napanguso kasi alam kong tama siya. Kung hindi niya ginawa yun, sigurado akong sisisihin ko nga ang sarili ko.

"Sorry," sabi ko habang nakanguso pa rin. Naiinis pa rin ako kahit na tama siya.

Natawa naman siya sa inasta ko. "You're such a child," pang-iinis niya sa akin.

Inirapan ko siya dahil naiinis pa rin ako. Nag-mukha akong ewan dun ah.

"I'm hungry. Buy me food. Gusto ko KFC."

Mas lalo pa siyang natawa dahil doon.

"Okay, I'll buy the baby some KFC," he said before kissing me on the cheek. "I'll buy you extra brownies."

Napangiti naman ako dahil doon. Nawala na yung pagka-inis ko. "Really? Thank you, Alessandro! You're the best!"

Narinig ko ulit siyang tumawa habang palabas siya ng kwarto.

***

Alex, ordered a whole bucket of chicken, mashed potatoes, and of course, brownies.

Siyempre, naubos namin yun. Nilinis ni Alex yung pinagkainan namin at ako ay naghahanap ng movie na panonoorin namin... na naman.

We are halfway through the movie when I decided to ask him something that has been bugging me. "Alex," tawag ko sa kanya.

"Hm?"

"I have a question," medyo alangan kong sabi.

"What is it?" Tanong niya sa akin.

"It's about what you said earlier," sabi ko habang pinaglalaruan ko ang mga daliri ko.

Tumingin siya sa akin before he paused the movie. "Annie, I already told you, it's not your fault," panimula niya pero pinigilan ko siya.

"It's not about that."

"What is it then?"

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ko siya sinagot. "Sabi mo kanina, walang magbabago whether or not malaman mong ako yung mystery person mo..."

"Yes, I said that."

"What do you mean by that?" alangan kong tanong.

Actually, may idea na ako pero I just want to make sure. Mahirap na ang umasa.

Alex held both of my hands before answering, "Kahit na hindi ko nalaman na ikaw yung tao na yon, wala naman ng mababago," sabi niya, "You know why?"

Alam kong alam niya kung anong tumatakbo sa isip ko. We have been friends for a long time, that we came to the point wherein we already know what the other one is thinking before we even say it.

He lifted one of his hands and rested it on my cheek. "Do you want to know why, Annie?" Tanong niya ulit.

I was so nervous, all I managed to do is nod.

"Walang mababago kasi mahal na kita even before I discovered the truth. Kahit na hindi ko alam yung totoo, I still managed to fall in love with you so walang mababago," sabi niya.

Hindi ako makapaniwala...

He loves me. Alex loves me!

Hindi ko na napigilan at tumulo na naman yung mga luha ko. But this time, they were tears of joy. "You love me?" I asked him dahil hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga naririnig ko.

He used his thumb to wipe my tears the he smiled. "Yes, Anika Nicolette Gonzalez Rodriguez, I love you with all my heart," sagot niya sa akin. "The question is, do you love me too?"

I managed to let out a shaky laugh before answering. "Of course, you dummy, I never stopped loving you."

I saw him smile before his lips touched mine.

I feel so happy. I never thought this could happen. I was content with loving him from afar. I already accepted the fact that he will never feel the same way about me. Hindi ko inakalang mangyayari ito.

"I love you," he lovingly said after we pulled apart.

I give him a sweet smile before giving him a light kiss. "I love you too."