Home For The Holidays

Fifty Six

Sunday, September 15, 2024
Knowles-Carter Residence
Los Angeles, California
8:15 am

Beyoncé woke up to the feeling of the baby kicking and Jay's lips moving on her belly as he whispered.

She smiled she looked down at him, face-to-face with her bump.

This was a part of his daily routine. Every morning, before he got out of bed, he talked to the baby.

Sometimes, he'd say a prayer for her. Sometimes, he'd tell her about all the things he wanted to do with her, and sometimes, he'd make her promises to always be there for her and be the best father he could possibly be.

Beyoncé never got in the way because it was their bonding time, and she wanted them to have a special relationship.

After the phone call he received last night, he was doing all three.

When he finished, he kissed all over her baby bump before he pulled her oversized shirt down and laid back down on his pillow.

"Morning," he said before he kissed her.

"Good morning," she smiled.

He laid on his back as he looked up at the ceiling.

He really didn't know what to feel. He was all over the place. He was angry, sad, and confused.

Beyoncé was about to say something about his father, but he beat her to it.

"You know Anaheim is like thirty minutes away from Los Angeles?" he asked her, continuing to look at the ceiling.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"I've lived in Los Angeles for three years now, which I'm sure he knew because that's public knowledge, and he's lived in Anaheim for four. He's been thirty minutes away for three years, and he never contacted me," Jay said.

"Shawn-," she started before he cut her off.

"And what's even worse is that he moved my mom and me all the way from Brooklyn to Briarwood for work, not that he was around much when we were in Brooklyn. Then he leaves us high and dry just a few years later to move to Savannah. Apparently, he left Savannah soon after and moved to Houston, an hour away from Briarwood, where he lived for the latter part of my childhood, but he never thought to come see me once. He's been near me most of my life and chose to stay away," he continued.

She decided not to say anything because she knew he wasn't finished.

"And I have a sister who he thought was enough to stick around for and raise, but he couldn't do the same for me, so I guess I must've been the problem," he added as he sat up against the headboard.

"Shawn, don't go there. You know very well that you were not the problem. Don't beat yourself up for his bad decisions," Beyoncé told him as she sat up as well.

"No, no, this is great. I'm glad that I know because for nearly twenty years I've wondered what could've possibly been wrong with him for him to leave his family. Now, I know it was me," Jay said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Shawn, come on. You know that's not true. Don't think like that," she told him as she went over and sat next to him.

"What the hell else am I supposed to think? What else could it possibly be? This man has an entire other family thirty minutes away that he was there for, so he's obviously capable of being a father. He just didn't want to for me. Why?" he asked her as his voice broke a little.

She grabbed his hand before she spoke.

"You know better than I do that your dad is not the man he should be. I don't know why he left. I don't know why he chose to start a new family, but I do know that it had nothing to do with you, and you know that too. It's his loss because you're an amazing person, and you've done incredibly well for yourself without him. And I know it's selfish for him to ask to see you possibly on his deathbed, but maybe, that's why you should go see him. You could ask him why he left and get some closure," she told him.