Generation Infinosil

Chapter Thirty Three

Chapter Thirty Three - Shane

2050

I drifted in and out of sleep all night. Thoughts of Kaitlyn dominated my mind. When I first awoke I thought it was morning, there was a dim light shining through my curtains. It took me a while to realise that I was mistaking the dull light of dusk for the faint light of dawn. It was still evening, I probably hadn't even obtained a mere hour of solid sleep.

Before it dawned on me that it wasn't morning, I woke up with a drowsy smile on my face. My first thought was of my picnic with Kaitlyn, I could picture her image so clearly- the curve of her jaw and the glow of her cheeks, the glisten of her eyes and the fullness of her lips as she smiled shyly at me. I could hear the sound of her voice and the perfection of her laugh as if she was sat beside me. After a few moments of bliss, I recalled the rest of the day.

My heart sank, my smile faded.

I wanted so badly to rewind time, but that wouldn't solve the problem, it would only avoid it for a little while longer. I decided that I had to face her, I had to demand some kind of explanation, I had to try to understand why she would want to hurt me. I expected to feel some kind of anger boiling up inside of me, but instead I felt a deep and empty kind of sadness.

"Why would she betray me?" I asked myself over and over, desperately scouring my brain for an answer; hoping that if I understood the reasons behind it, it would hurt less.

Knowing that I had every chance of bumping into Kaitlyn the following day at school, I buried my head into my pillow and let out a low, almost inaudible groan that was further quietened by my pillow.

Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why could I not just be a normal boy who likes a normal girl who likes me back? Because let's be honest, there's no point hiding that I'm crazy about her, I may as well have it tattooed on my forehead for the world to see. At first, I wasn't sure what this feeling was that I felt towards her, I thought I was just attracted to the idea that I may have met her before, but with every passing second I fell further and further in love with her.

I was madly in love with the girl that broke my heart just hours before.

I was deeply in love with the girl I had only known for less than a week.

I never believed that you could fall so fast and so hard, I never thought of it as possible, not until I found Kaitlyn.

I had fallen into the abyss of a never-ending well, and there was no chance of escape. I needed Kaitlyn to be the light that reduced the darkness, I needed her to fall with me, hand in hand. Only she could make falling more bearable, only she could make it hurt less. But Kaitlyn was a long way away, and she had no interest in taking the fall with me.