Generation Infinosil

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen - Shane

2050

Looking back on how cowardly I was still makes me chuckle to this day. Deep down I knew I could be myself around her but the chicken inside of me just broke out and I couldn't approach her.

I decided that writing a note would be easier, so that's what I did; I know, I know, it's really sad that I had to resort to passing notes like a twelve year old but I honestly couldn't confront her.

Every time I walked past her in the corridor, my first instinct was to walk up to her and say hey but I just couldn't. It was like I was a puppet, desperately trying to reach her but my cowardice was the puppeteer and it was pulling me back, the strings dragging me further and further from my goal each time. The more I struggled to reach her, the more I had time to wonder, "does she actually want me to reach her?"

As Thursday and Friday passed, I noticed a change in how she responded to me. At first she wore a bright, inviting smile, but it soon turned shy and eventually, she stopped smiling at all. When I spotted her at Friday lunch time, we made eye contact but there was no smile etched upon her face, she looked away instantly and turned towards the ground, looking rather miserable and even a touch of something else shadowed over her; was it... Shame?

That Friday lunchtime was when I decided I had to do something about it, before we drifted apart, before my effort to speak to her in the first place was wasted. I could sense a barrier forming between us but the thing that pushed me to act the most was the look on her face. She looked pained and I couldn't stand to think that I had caused it and I refused to be the cause of it for any longer.

When I sat down with Nathan at lunch, I got out a pen and ripped some paper from my notebook. I had no idea what to write but the truth would be a good way to start, "I've been a chicken." No, an apology was needed, "Sorry for being a chicken!" I hoped she would understand from that sentence that I didn't mean to not speak to her. Since we wouldn't be able to speak over the weekend, I thought my phone number would be useful too because that way, if she had any interest in me still, she could text me and I wouldn't have to wait until Monday to see if my note worked.

I handed it to Nathan and asked him to give it to her after fifth period since he shared a lesson with her. He smiled in a "my mate's got a crush on someone" way and gave me his word that she would receive it.

On Saturday morning I got a text from an unknown number, presumably Kaitlyn's, that said "you better be sorry ;)".

I breathed a sigh of relief, surely that little wink face meant that she had forgiven me. "I'll make it up to you, I swear :)" I replied.

She texted back soon after, asking, "oh yeah, how are you gonna do that?"

To which I replied, "if you meet me at 1 tomorrow by the zebra crossing outside our school, I'm sure I can figure something out."

"I'll be there, but it better involve food, that's the best way to make me like you, just sayin' ;)"

"Food it is, I promise you lots of food, see you there then :)"

"See you there :)"