My Sun - JJ Maybank

Chapter 71: The Truth

Caution: Sexual Assault *It isn't explicit but it is implied so if this triggers you please just scroll to the authors notes where it will briefly explain what happened*

JJ Maybank was utterly pissed off at himself. It made sense, he created a strained friendship with all of the pogues for his unnecessary actions. Most importantly however, he lost Louis.

Louis made it very clear that he never wanted to see JJ again, which honestly made JJ have his answer even if he didn't want one yet.

JJ didn't really have anyone to turn to. John B was at Sarah's, or possibly on the changing trip already. The pogues saw him in a defenseless state, something he never wanted the pogues to see. Sure there was Leo, but he assumed not just him but all the pogues heard the argument, another reason JJ didn't want to see them.

JJ was alone so he went to the only place he could think off.

Knocking on the door for the second time in a year still felt strange, however he wasn't as anxious.

Mattie opened it again, allowing JJ to enter.

Of course though, JJ wasn't paying attention to the time and didn't realize it was almost two in the morning. So when Mattie opened the door shirtless and in joggers JJ had to look away.

"Jack? What are you doing here?" Mattie asks, shocked but happy to see the blonde again.

JJ stands there looking like an idiot, mouth open but no words coming out, eyes wide and slightly glossy from all the events that happened, yet he still stands there silently.

"Uhh.. Fine, you can come in but stay quiet." Mattie whispers before closing the front door and dragging JJ to his room. It wasn't until Mattie closed his bedroom door that JJ took a breath and blinked his eyes back into reality.

"Sorry it's late... I didn't mean to wake you."

"You're fine Jack... What are you doing here though? I mean I am happy to see you, it just is unexpected." Mattie says, searching through his drawer while speaking, grabbing JJ a fresh pair of clothes.

JJ accepts the clothes and gives a thankful look before walking into Mattie's bathroom and changing quickly. The shirt fit him almost perfectly which slightly upset JJ. It didn't look stupid on him like with anything he would wear of Louis'. It wasn't tight like the clothes he would wear that Louis always liked.

When JJ exited the bathroom and saw Mattie sitting on his bed, JJ became even more upset. This was Mattie's home. This was Mattie's room. This was Mattie infront of him and not Louis.

If JJ weren't in so much need of comfort in this moment he probably wouldn't even show up here, but he liked to ruin everything as it seemed, so why not ruin himself more in the process.

"Hi..." JJ says after a moment, sitting next to Mattie on the bed.

"Hey."

It is silent again, and both can feel the tension radiating off of them from everything that has happened. JJ randomly showing up, Mattie kissing him. Of course JJ didn't know of the encounter Mattie had with Louis and Mattie didn't know of the argument JJ and the French boy had, but there was built up tension and both wanted it gone.

"Okay... I am just going to say it. I like you JJ... like I never have stopped liking you and it fucking sucks that you are Louis are a thing or possibly a thing because I want to be the one that makes you happy. I like you even after everything and I know I shouldn't but... I still do and I know you felt something that night. I know you did... you had to." Mattie rambles out, messing with his hair, a nervous tick he always did, something JJ knew after getting to know the boy.

JJ sits there silently once again. Too much was happening. Everything was happening too soon and it terrified JJ. It was all happening too fast and he wanted to slow it down.

"I know... I know you can't say anything... you have to be loyal to Louis and all but JJ I just.... I like you. A lot."

JJ turns to Mattie at this confession and gives Mattie a small smile. It was a smile that could destroy the world if it so wanted to. It was such a simple gesture, it was a smile that didn't even reach the blondes eyes, but it was a smile nonetheless.

JJ just wanted comfort, JJ just wanted love. At this point, JJ didn't care who it was from or who he would hurt in the process of it all.

"I-I like you too." JJ says, shocking himself and Mattie.

Here the blonde was again, going against his heart, his mind winning instead. The blonde couldn't think straight, the blonde couldn't understand.

JJ Maybank was utterly at his lowest and the thought terrified him.

Mattie looks at JJ and smiles, a real genuine smile spreading across his face. The blonde boy he has liked for so long is finally seeing him in a different light. The blonde boy he fell for so easily is finally confessing his own feelings. The blonde boy he loves is finally coming to him for comfort instead of someone else.

"You what?"

"... Louis and I aren't together.... So you know. And I like you." JJ mumbles out, hating how his mouth speaks without his heart giving permission.

JJ hates how he is lying straight though his teeth. He liked Mattie, sure, but another boy had his heart. Unfortunetly, JJ wasn't sure if he would ever get his heart back, because the French boy made it clear he never wanted to see the blonde again.

JJ hated what he was saying but he needed this. He needed something, anything to ground him. If that meant having a fling after a break up, he would do it.

Besides, JJ was a player once, why not become a player again?

And so with JJ speaking once more about his confession to Mattie, Mattie pulled him into a kiss and JJ didn't fight.

JJ didn't fight when Mattie pushed him down on the bed.

JJ didn't fight when Mattie kissed his neck.

JJ didn't fight when his shirt was pulled over his body and Mattie kissed every bruise.

It wasn't until Mattie wanted more that JJ fought.

He continued to mumbles 'No's' and 'Please stop's' but all Mattie would do was shush the boy by kissing his lips.

JJ went there wanting comfort, but instead all he felt was more used. However the blonde believed he deserved it, so after being shushed one to many times he gave up the fight and accepted his fate.

This was his truth. This was his reality.

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Um.... yeah.

If this book every is to upsetting for you and messing with your mental health please stop reading. I would hate for someones mental health to become bad because of this book.

Your mental health is more important.

And if you didn't read this chapter here is a short summary: JJ went to Matties house, and after Mattie confessed his feelings JJ revealed to Mattie that he liked him. Mattie and JJ kissed and one thing led to another. However JJ changed his mind is was basically silenced to the point he stopped fighting.

Sorry this chapter is sad and kind of on the heavier side. I hope you all are okay.

Um, yeah....

:(

-Willie