Louis Michael Caswell-Brooks. The new boy on the block. Moving all the way from France to the Outer Banks he tries to fit in all while dealing with the grief caused back at home. Along the way he meets a group of teens who enjoy breaking rules, and...
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⚠ Drug Use
Pain. Pain is such an interesting concept in the world. There are so many different types that can cause different reactions. Physical pain for starters can cause PTSD depending on how that person experienced pain. It can lead the person to completely lose themselves and become their own worst enemy. Mental pain can lead to constant break downs and depression. Emotional pain can bring a person to wish for any pain besides that. They will sacrifice themselves to feel the mental and physical pain just so they don't have to feel emotions, and this, this is the pain Louis was experiencing. Emotional pain.
Now Louis never once thought he would smoke a joint, drink excessive amounts of alcohol or do a line of cocaine and yet here he was, a week after officially becoming a pogue, a week after hearing the news of his mothers murderer being let out of jail, a week of emotional pain Louis has had to endure, doing those exact things.
He became closed off again. He wouldn't anwser any of JJ's texts or phone calls, he is honestly surprised JJ is still trying to reach him at this point. He hasn't left the house during the day to skate or strum his guitar. He hasn't had a full conversation with either one of the Brooks. Louis completely closed himself off from the world.
The only time Louis showed himself was at the dead of night. He would sneak out of the house after stealing some of Mr. Brooks money and head towards the trailer park, where he became close to a unfriendly, dirty drug dealer named Barry. That's what Louis would do every night for the past week. Sneak out, steal, go to Barry's, buy unknown drugs that he has no knowledge of the effects it could cause his body and use them, even if his body begged him not to.
Louis would normally feel guilty about destroying his body or stealing money that wasn't his, but Louis wasn't the same boy anymore. Louis was different, Louis changed, and not for the better but no one needed to know that.
He had his own stash of drinks, pills, and drugs now, hidden away in his closest behind his collection of shoes. He knew the risk, hell he thrived off the thought he could get caught. Mr. Brooks was a cop after all, he could probably suspect when drugs were being used, or a teenager would sneak out late at night but Louis didn't care. Louis simply just didn't care about the consequences that could not only come from getting caught but using the drugs in the first place..
To put it short, he was depressed. So so so very depressed. He was going back to his ways when he first had found out of his lovers death. He hated this. The pain that ate at his heart. The stab to his soul. He hated feeling so down, but he couldn't escape. It was like a living hell and he expected to never recover. At this point hell possibly would be better than what he was feeling.
He hated himself. He hated life. He hated the world. He hated so many things. He wished he was more stable, more willing to be there for his brother but he couldn't. He couldn't even look at Leo or hear that came without have an overwhelming amount of guilt overwhelm him. He wishes he was better, stronger. He wishes he could be there, smiling, laughing, and most importantly listening to all his brother had to say, but he couldn't. Not when he was how he was. Not when he couldn't even recognize himself in the mirror.
